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“I have to go. Ari left Alex a note at the house. I’ve got calls out to people. Jerrod’s on it. That boy’s scary good at finding us.”

“What if something’s happened to him?”

He rolls his eyes at me. “K.K. Sure. You’re sitting in a hospital bed. I’m sure he’s in a ditch somewhere. Turn your fucking author brain off.”

“Writer.”

“Shut up, Author! We’re all on this. We’ll find him.”

“Thank you.” I cry again.

“Stop it. Jesus. All I did was buy a scrunchie. Lord knows, Distraction, I’m grateful for you too. I don’t like most people. I like you beyond Alex.” I smile large.

I tease in a whiny voice. “I’m your best friend in the whole world.”

“If that’s what you need.” He kisses my forehead and takes a quick selfie. “Future blackmail, you look like shit aside from the perfect high pony.”

A nurse enters and scoots Mikey away. I’m crestfallen he didn’t make it in time. She hooks me up to an IV, and I leave one more message for Alex.

“Hey. It’s me. I’m ok. A little anxious. Can you call someone and check-in? Anyone. I might not answer because drugs are involved. I’m scared, and I need you.” I drift off, hoping he’s ok and wondering if anyone would know to call me if he wasn’t.

* * *

I wake up around 10 p.m. and still no Alex. I don’t know what to say to him. I know we have this understanding about work. I get solitude, but I’m alone. There’s a lot of Gerber daisies on my nightstand from Joan. Mikey must have told her. The card says:

You moron. Stop chasing that fuzzy fucking ball. I canceled your schedule for two weeks. Call if you need me to come to get you. Come to NY,

don’t go to your empty shitty townhouse.

Love Joan and Daryll.

Comfort and pragmatism, it’s what I expect from her. I turn on the TV and wait for a nurse to bring me something for the pain. My phone finally dings.

ALEX: Done. Such a great day.

ALEX: Fire lit, Steely playing, bourbon in hand, where u at, woman?

ALEX: Damn, just turned my phone on, and it’s blowing the fuck up. I’m too tired to read all this. Come to me.

I don’t answer. I don’t know how to not sound bitchy or pathetic.

ALEX: Seriously. Are you out? Are you at Mikey’s? Where r u? I need u.

He needs me? When he needed me, I dropped everything to be at his side, and I had disappeared. I’m stunned at how obtuse he is not checking his messages. I’ve no patience. He didn’t read any texts, emails, DMs or the note from Ari in the house. Fuck him. I say the bitchy thing. The guilt-inducing thing. I say the thing that puts him on the hook.

TESS: I’m in a hospital bed.

ALEX: R U OK?!!!!!

ALEX: Are you hurt?

His texts come rapid-fire after fourteen and a half hours of nothing.

ALEX: Who hurt u? Shit. What hospital? What happened? Where are you?

ALEX: What can I do?

My phone rings. I’m not ready. I send it to voicemail. No more crying.