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7. IMPROVISATION

Party B shall not deviate from the mutually agreed-upon relationship history,

without prior authorization from Party A.

Party B may not independently invent:

Pet names.

Anniversaries.

Vacation memories.

Sexual anecdotes.

Marriage proposals.

Pregnancy scares.

Matching tattoos.

Any claim that Party A snores.

Emergency improvisation is permitted only when necessary to prevent discovery,

and must be reported to Party A at the earliest reasonable opportunity.

I lifted my head. “Do you snore?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does if you do, because that would be something your ex would know.”

“No. I don’t snore.”

I wasn’t going to push her on it, but I had a feeling she did.

8. CONFIDENTIALITY

Party B shall not disclose the fabricated nature of the relationship to any third

party.

This obligation survives termination of the Agreement.

Party B is specifically prohibited from telling his brothers, ranch hands, friends,

bartenders, or anyone he believes “can keep a secret.”

They cannot.

9. PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

Party B agrees to appear attentive, affectionate, and reasonably enamored with

Party A.

Party B shall refrain from: