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The Heartbreaker for Hire

Page 26

by Melanie Shawn

Any kissing shall be brief, convincing, and conducted without unnecessary enthusiasm.

Tongue is expressly prohibited.

4. SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS

The Parties shall maintain separate sleeping accommodations at all times.

Party B shall not enter Party A’s cabin after 10:00 p.m. except in the event of:

a) fire,

b) medical emergency,

c) imminent danger, or

d) a situation Party A determines would create greater suspicion if Party B did not enter.

e) “Couldn’t sleep” does not constitute an emergency.

5. SEXUAL CONTACT

a) There shall be no sexual intercourse or sexual activity of any kind during the

term of this Agreement.

b) This prohibition includes activities either Party might attempt to classify as

“technically not sex.”

It is still sex.

6. EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES

Neither Party shall:

Develop romantic feelings for the other.

Become jealous.

Discuss childhood trauma after midnight.

Reveal deeply personal information that could reasonably create emotional intimacy.

Make declarations concerning destiny, fate, soulmates, or “the universe.”

Imagine a future involving the other Party.

Mistake physical attraction for emotional compatibility.

Any feelings arising in violation of this section shall be ignored until they cease to

exist.

“Ignored until they cease to exist, huh?”

She nodded.

“Okay, sure.” Like it would be that easy.