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The Scarecrow inside me forces his way forward. He’s my protection. I feel nothing when he takes control, and no one can hurt me.

The Jester might still be here, or he could have left. Everything is hazy and I feel myself moving. I try to fight my way back to the forefront, but the Scarecrow is stronger. He numbed all the pain I felt when I was younger, when everyone thought I was a freak, when no one understood the hurt I suffered at the hands of the man who was supposed to protect me. He hardened my heart after I lost the only good thing in my life, I was thrown away like garbage, and no one believed in me.

As I walk, I find a lantern on the main path, and I reach for it. I don’t know why, but my scarecrow and I gather things and head back to the cornfield.

Making it to the center, I look around. I couldn’t keep her. Everything I touch is ruined.

I strike a match.

I was once told that the fear that cannot be outrun is losing people you love.

When I drop the match, the field goes up in flames around me, and I watch it burn.

The Scarecrow was built to protect me, but there is no world I want protection from if she is not in it.

I watch everything burn until there is nothing left but ash.

Chapter Fourteen

Valli

Rowan doesn’t speak until we clear the bridge, then he sits hunched forward in the passenger seat with his knee bouncing. Every few seconds he looks behind us, and once the bridge is almost out of sight, he turns and stares out the back window.

I don’t blame him for being on edge. Part of me expected Cave to alert the others, and for them to all come after me, but there is no hearse in sight. I tighten my hands around the steering wheel; I should feel relieved, but I don’t.

Rowan is alive. Cave didn’t kill him, when I know he would have wanted to wipe him from existence. Hell, I silently wished it, too, after Cipher was hurt. If Rowan had died, all my problems would have gone away. I know that makes me a bad person, wishing my brother dead, but Cave saved him—for me. And I understand why he did it, which is the problem. I’m furious that Cave looked me in the eye and said no when I asked if my brother was dead, but when I asked where he was, he shrugged. He made me believe he didn’t know, but he did the entire time. He lied to me.

What I really want to know is what part Cipher and Noa played in this. Did they lie just as much as Cave? They all watched me breathe easier at the thought that it was over and Rowan was finally going to leave me alone.

It was nice while it lasted. A break from all the worrying, all the what ifs hanging over my head, and not knowing what surprise my brother had in store for me next.

My heart squeezes when I see the travel cup in the cup holder. It’s Noa’s—he left it in here a few days ago when we ran errands for Nixie. I had to buy it for him because someone out the front of a store stopped him and made him aware of how many turtles die each year from plastic straws. He boasted about doing his part for the environment.

“Those people are fucking insane,” Rowan finally says, breaking the silence.

I keep my eyes on the road and sigh. “You pulled a fucking gun on me,” I bite out. “What did you expect?”

He scoffs. “I wouldn’t have shot you. You’re my sister.”

I turn momentarily to glare at him. “You aimed it at me.”

“I was scared.”

A laugh nearly escapes me, but there is nothing funny about this. “So was I.”

“They were surrounding me.” He shifts in his seat, turning toward me as much as he can. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Not bring a gun to the island.”

His jaw flexes, and I catch bruises around his throat and marks along his arms. I don’t know how he got them, and I honestly don’t care right now.

“Easy for you to say,” he mutters. “You’ve got three psychopaths protecting you now.”

My fingers tighten around the wheel, and I clench my teeth. Every time I’m near Rowan, he brings out this side of me.

“They protected you too,” I fire back.

He turns his head so fast it must hurt his neck. “They locked me in a cage,” he roars.