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“Bad dreams are normal. Everything you’re feeling is normal. Don’t hide from the pain and never forget what happened rests on their shoulders.”
Exhaling deeply, I scooted to the edge of the couch and wiggled off my boxers. York kissed me, knowing what I craved. Though sex wouldn’t fix my trauma, York’s touch helped focus me on the future rather than the past.
As he filled my body, I felt thankful to have killed those men. Moving past that night had proven more difficult than I expected. But if I hadn’t fought back, I’d never have survived long enough for York to find me. The life we built together would be a gift dipped in blood, but it was a gift nonetheless.
YORK
Goldie and I survived her meltdown. She seemed stronger after admitting how weak she felt. I had kept my ass planted by her side rather than calling in for reinforcements. We proved to ourselves and each other that our relationship wouldn’t break under pressure.
The trip to Rawlins rejuvenated us both. Having grown attached to Yarrow and Blackjack, I was happy to share a home with them again. I met more of Goldie’s Rawlins family. On the first night, Cayenne and Camo cooked shish kabobs in the townhome complex’s backyard. I met Duffy, who showed no interest in meeting me. All evening, she walked around the gated pool with a crew of dogs following behind her, including Junior.
“Mochi did better in the car when she had Junior to cuddle up with,” Goldie told her parents when we arrived with the dogs. “They’re in love now, but in a totally platonic way.”
That night, we slept in Goldie’s childhood room, complete with a missing closet door. Despite claiming her parents knew she had sex, she covered her mouth when I made her come before we crashed for the night.
The three days in Rawlins gave me a sense of Goldie that had been hidden from me before. I understood why this place felt so safe. The Rawlins Heretics and Everything Nice Crew owned the mayor and police. Everyone here knew the members of the clubs and their children. When we went out to eat, people didn’t dare even glance at us.
Goldie and I returned to Baton Rouge with a new enthusiasm for building a life together. She became proactive by buying items to infuse the décor with more of her style. She ordered a metal bench to place near the front portico. Often, I’d arrive home to find her sitting with the dogs and waiting for me.
That summer, we planted flowers and added planters around the driveway.
“Nova did a great job, but we need to make this house ours,” Goldie told Boone when he came over to help us plant hostas around the front tree.
Inside the house, Goldie bought several pieces of motorcycle-themed artwork for the walls. She also requested photos from her parents, clubmates, and Jessica. Soon, the hallway leading to the bedrooms was filled with familiar faces.
I painted our bedroom the same color as her room at the Sorority House. We also rearranged the furniture in the family room and on the back patio.
These small gestures made Goldie feel more like a homeowner rather than a guest. She even suggested officially changing her mailing address to our place in Baton Rouge.
Elle’s return to Baton Rouge also helped Goldie find her groove. By then, Goldie could drive short distances. Many mornings, while I needed to work, she would take the dogs to Zodiac’s place for the day.
The summer was over quickly. We were busy hosting dinners in Baton Rouge, visiting other people, and driving to Little Memphis for the double wedding of Rowdy and Kat and Farley and Maria.
A month after their wedding, Goldie and I got hitched at the Sorority House. Jessica drove up with Goldie and me to Arkansas. By then, my mom had caught on to Goldie’s wilder side. Even if she hadn’t, the sleeveless wedding gown would have given it away.
I worried about how Jessica and Yarrow would get along. Goldie took the lead with that problem during the drive to Little Memphis.
“My mom was horribly abused as a child,” Goldie explained to Jessica. “Think of the worst possible things to do to a child, and that’s probably not bad enough. Yarrow doesn’t know how to edit herself, and I’d prefer if she didn’t have to.”
“What do I say to her?”
“That you love York, and you’re happy he’s marrying me. Oh, and talk about how you want grandbabies.”
Jessica was very patient with Yarrow, and Goldie’s mom definitely edited herself. The women wouldn’t ever be friends, but they were very good at being friendly. Plus, they both really wanted Goldie and me to make a baby.
The wedding was laid-back. Crimson Guard members Graham, Jaslene, and Dalisay played “How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved by You)” while Blackjack and Yarrow walked Goldie down the aisle. Lyric and Skylar looked cute in their black-and-white flower girl dresses. My clubmates got along well with the Crimson Guard. The entire wedding went perfectly.
Wanting a quiet honeymoon, Goldie and I spent a week at a Rawlins’ bed and breakfast.
In October, during Skylar and Lyric’s autumn break, the Chester family and I took a week-long trip to the Netherlands. We arrived to find Amsterdam soaked in golden-orange foliage. The weather was rainy but mild. We explored the city, visiting museums and taking part in a local festival.
During our final days in the Netherlands, we moseyed down the streets, frequently stopping at cafes for drinks and snacks. Goldie loved a pea soup she discovered in one location. At one café, Lyric and Skylar pigged out on Dutch apple tarts until they could barely walk back to the hotel.
Junior and Mochi were thrilled when we returned home and brought them from Zodiac’s place. By then, the dogs had become accustomed to traveling with us to Rawlins or Little Memphis.
During the holidays, Goldie and I filled our front yard with an inflatable snowman, gingerbread cookie, and penguin. I put up lights on the roofline, along the bushes, and in the backyard.
Just after New Year, we learned Goldie was pregnant. I hadn’t expected everything to happen so quickly, but the positive test left me grinning like a madman. I hadn’t realized how much I wanted to make a family with Goldie until I knew a baby was on the way.
