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“No.”

With a little help, I straddled his lap and smiled softly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” York said as his frown unclenched. “But it’s hard, you know? Going from living on my own to needing to make you happy every day has been harder than I expected.”

“Do you want a break from me?”

“No.”

“I could visit Rawlins without you. It might give you a chance to relax.”

York instantly repeated, “No.”

“I feel like you want me to go alone.”

York rested his hands on my hips and shook his head. “I want to see where you grew up. That seems fair after Jessica showed you those goofy pictures of me as a kid.”

Nuzzling his jaw with mine, I whispered, “If we went to school together, I would have hated how much I wanted you. You were such a jock, and I never dated jocks.”

“Yeah, and you were exactly the kind of chick I would have wanted,” York said, smirking.

Exhaling deeply, I kissed his cheeks and whispered, “I thought we might break up.”

“I didn’t,” York replied immediately. “After knowing what it feels like to have you in my life every day, I’ll never be happy alone again.”

Kissing York, I couldn’t imagine loving him more than I did in this moment. He had returned to the house and broken his old habit. York Lacroix was no longer willing to walk away from his problems.

As we cuddled on the couch, my earlier panic seemed so silly. However, those fears weren’t done with me yet.

Before sunrise, I woke up covered in sweat from a nightmare. My foot hurt like it had the night I was attacked. When York reached for me in the dark room, I cried out and jerked away from his touch.

Even after I had awakened more and the pain faded with the dream, I couldn’t stop shaking. York sat up with me in the family room while I jumped at every noise.

“No one is coming to hurt you,” York promised. “I talked to Exile about what Alabama said. He ratted out Leslie to Wrecker. She’ll keep her mouth shut from now on.”

“I’m not afraid of her,” I said and began to cry. “I killed her son.”

“No. He tried to kill you, and you chose to survive. It’s different.”

That night had been a blur of pain and fear. Even in the darkness, before York arrived, I hadn’t let myself fully feel what had taken place. I only wanted to survive and go home. Once I returned to Little Memphis, I focused on healing and building a relationship with York.

Yet, my mind had memorized every moment from that night. All those memories—the sounds, scents, and fears—crashed into me as if it were happening again.

I didn’t want to sleep. I couldn’t stop crying. Everything we watched on TV made me anxious.

York stuck close, but I knew he wasn’t sure how to handle my stark fears. He even mentioned Boone as if my brother could swoop in and fix me.

Despite feeling overwhelmed, York didn’t run away or call for help. He simply rode through my crazy mood swings as I cried, panicked over every noise, and snapped at him for coddling me.

“I’m not strong,” I insisted as we sat exhausted on the couch for a second night. “I thought I was a badass, but I don’t have the stomach to kill anyone.”

York slid off the couch and maneuvered between my legs. He cupped my face and stared at me with tired eyes.

“Bullshit,” he whispered. “You had no trouble killing two men when it was them versus you. But you feel bad now. Taking a life should upset you. I killed Vinny’s dad and brother. That burden rests on my shoulders. But I’d rather be alive with you now than have allowed what they had planned for us. So, feel bad and shed your tears, but never doubt you’re a badass.”

I glanced at the dogs curled up together in the corner. They’d been agitated by my behavior all day. Junior whined a lot and barked at the front door a few times. He wanted to protect me, even if the threat was in my head.

“I dreamed they buried me,” I told York and rested my forehead against his. “I was both dead and alive, trapped in a body I couldn’t control as the mud covered me. It felt so real. I’m glad I killed them, but I feel dirty now.”