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I narrowed my eyes. “What bad words you be saying?”

His whole face changed. “None.”

“Yeah. Aight.”

He moved on entirely too fast. “Can you get inside somebody’s body?”

“I can, but I don’t like doing that shit. It drains me. But don’t ever worry about me getting in your body.”

Kaidence nodded, accepting that explanation without much trouble before moving right along.

He leaned closer, lowering his voice like his next question required complete confidentiality.

“Daddy, do ghosts still have to brush their teeth?”

I chuckled at his little inquisitive ass. “Nah, son.”

“So ghosts don’t get cavities?”

“Apparently not.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “Being a ghost got some good parts.”

“Yeah, well, don’t get no ideas.”

Kaidence held my stare for all of two seconds before cracking up and falling backward onto the mattress.

“Boy, what the hell is funny?”

“I was just thinking about a ghost trying to brush his teeth and the toothbrush going through his face!”

I shook my head, fighting a smile. “Boy, you got way too much going on in that little head of yours.”

“Okay. I got one more question.”

“Shoot.”

“Can you beat up another ghost?”

I laughed. “I’m sure, but I haven’t tried it.”

“What if it’s a big ghost?”

I reared my head back, almost in offense. “I’ma big ghost. What you mean?”

“You’re tall, Daddy. I mean what if he’s, like… taller than the refrigerator and got shoulders bigger than the front door?”

I laughed. “Then he about to learn size don’t mean shit.”

Kaidence squinted at me. “Daddy, you say a lot of bad words.”

Damn.

Until Kaidence called me out on it, I had never really thought about cleaning up the way I talked. Before him, I had no reason to. I spent most of my life around grown men, the streets, money, drugs, and people who weren’t exactly worried about whether every other word out of my mouth was appropriate. But I had never gotten the chance to learn fatherhood the regular way either.

I missed diapers, first steps, first words, and all those little everyday moments when a man supposedly figures out what he should say around his child, what conversations can wait until later, and which parts of himself need adjusting once somebody small starts paying attention to everything he does.

I learned a lot of shit from men I probably had no business being around when I was young, and somewhere along the way, cussing every other sentence became as natural as breathing… so did a whole lot of other things I damn sure didn’t want my son growing up thinking were normal.