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“So, I’m going to tell you a joke. I suppose you’re all thinking, Yeah, lady, that’s why we’re here. But this is a joke you’ve never heard before, and I’m going to need someone to help me.” I point to a random redheaded guy sitting in the second row. “You going to help me with the joke?”
“Sure,” he says.
“Okay. Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Boo.”
“Boo who?”
“There’s no need to cry. It’s only a joke.”
There are some loud groans, and I throw my hands up in the air.
“What can I say? I just graduated from second grade, and that’s the joke of the year. Oh, wait, no. Second grade was the year my love life was the best it’s ever been. Ladies, who here feels like the boyfriend they had in second grade was better than the boyfriend they have today?”
“Me!” a lady shouts from the back, and several others agree.
“Ladies, how is it that men were sweeter, more polite, smelled better, and were more complimentary in second grade? Does anyone know why?”
“Because men suck,” someone calls out, and I nod slowly.
“They do kind of suck. I mean, they like to suck on your lips, they like to suck on your tits, and they like to suck on …” I pause. “Oops, I forgot to say this was an R-rated show.”
I look down at Brett, and I can see he’s laughing, and that gives me the confidence I need to continue with my set. I keep going for about eight more minutes, and when I give my last line, the crowd is cheering for me.
“So, ladies, you have to train them with an A-to-Z guide of what to say, touch, lick, and smell, and then and only then will you experience true bliss. And that, folks, is how orgasms are made.” I look over at Brett and see that he’s laughing harder than I’ve ever seen him laugh in my life, and I feel a sense of euphoria.
“Yay! Go, Rosie Meadows! Go, Rosie Meadows!” I see Sage starting up a chant, and I try not to roll my eyes as Marcus runs onto the stage.
“Ladies and gentlemen, that was Rosie Meadows. Rosie, good job tonight. We hope to see you again soon. Everyone, let’s keep up the applause! Next on the stage, we have Heather Spring.”
I make my way to the back of the stage again, and Marcus follows me.
“Hey, how do you feel? That was amazing.”
“I don’t know how to feel,” I say, shaking my head. “How do you think it went?”
“You killed it. They loved you.”
“It was such a shaky start. I can’t believe I did a knock, knock joke.”
“It was your first time. It’s fine.” He grins boyishly. “I’m really glad you made it out tonight.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah. I was hoping to ask you if you’d be interested in going to lunch.”
“Oh, I don’t know what to say to that.”
“You’re not seeing anyone, are you?” He looks shy and abashed, and I shake my head slowly.
“I’ll …” I stutter over my words. “Can I let you know?”
“Of course,” he says. “I saw your friends at the front, if you want to go and chat with them.” He smiles. “Maybe give me a call later this week and let me know.”
“Sounds good,” I say. “Thanks, Marcus.”
