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“Oh my gosh, no. Really, Brett?” She shakes her head. “If a guy’s going to go down on me, it’s going to be because he wants to, not because I blackmailed him.”
I chuckle then. “Okay. There’s one thing you’ll have to agree to though.”
“What’s that?” she asks.
“We’ll have to stop the dates you set up for me because it’ll be awkward if someone sees me on a date with someone else while I’m pretending you’re my girlfriend.”
“That’s not fair. What about the bet?”
“I’ll continue to coach you, but maybe we pause the dates for now. I mean, you don’t have to pause yours, obviously, because I know you’re looking for someone, and that’s important, and I want to make sure you find the love of your life and that you’re not putting that on hold just because you’re helping me, but …”
“It’s fine.” She grins. “I’ll help you, and I’ll still let you coach me, but maybe you can …” She pauses. “Nothing.”
“What? What were you going to say?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Rosie, tell me.”
“Oh, I was just thinking maybe you’d come to an open mic night with me.”
“Oh, for your comedy?” I’m surprised at her question, but pleased.
“Yeah. I feel nervous, and, well, I know you’re the sort of guy who’s super honest, so you’ll tell me whether or not you thought I did a good job. I totally want to go with Lucia and Izzy, but I know they’ll tell me I did amazing even if I bomb, and I don’t want to be a stand-up comic if I’m not funny.”
“I’m sure you’ll be plenty funny, but I’d love to go with you. Thanks for asking.”
“You’re welcome. And thanks for asking me to be your fake fiancée.”
“Well, we’re going to start as fake boyfriend and girlfriend,” I say, grinning at her.
“Oh my gosh, who would’ve thought that Brett would be my boyfriend within a few weeks?” She grins. “What’s everyone going to say?”
“We’ll tell our friends the truth, obviously. I don’t want any confusion.”
“Don’t worry, Brett. No one’s going to believe I’d lower my standards to date you.”
“Oh, really? Even though everyone knows you’ve been after me for ages?”
“You wish.” She hits me in the upper arm and starts giggling. “I’m a natural flirt. Everyone knows that. Just because I flirt with you doesn’t mean I don’t flirt with millions of other men.”
“Is that right?” I say in a low voice as my jaw tightens. Her words annoy me, but I’m not going to tell her that.
“Yeah, I’m flirtatious. Don’t take it personally. Now, I guess I’m going to need you to give me a whole bunch of information because if I’m going to be your fake girlfriend, I need to know what I’m getting myself into. And how are we going to show your family?”
“I thought you might ask that. There’s a family weekend coming up at my grandparents’ estate in Santa Barbara. I’d love for you to join me. That way, you’ll be introduced to the family, and then we’ll figure out how to do the fake engagement.”
“Okay, sounds good.”
“One more thing, Rosie.”
“Yeah?”
“My parents, my mom in particular, are snobs. I don’t want you to be offended if she says anything to you.”
“Oh, you don’t think she’s going to like me? Parents love me.”
“It’s got nothing to do with you. It’s the fact that you’re not a Vanderbilt or a Carnegie or a Kennedy.” I shrug. “They’re old-school snobs.”