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“Imagine what she’d do to protect your baby. She barely likes me.” Jess gestured at Bitty.

“It’s true. I don’t really even like her that much. I’m just here because I want to be an omegaverse nanny.” She gave me a truly honest stare, face as earnest as anything I’d ever seen. “She forgot to return my Boys Spice Mewmew volume seven.”

“I got you a replacement! I told you. If you hadn’t been dicking around in the margins on i—”

“I had to draw the censored penises back in! It’s integral to the storyline! That took me hours!” Bitty sighed heavily.

“Oh, great, she’s a pervert!” I gestured at Bitty and stared at Jess for a moment until I wilted. “She’s one of us…”

Bitty grinned.

“Like…she’s free… And she does have some impressive qualifications… And she gets us. I guess.” Lex shrugged at me before giving Bitty a strained look. “I mean, there’s got to be a catch. You’re not going to ask to watch us bone or something weird, are you?”

“Are you offering?” She glanced up in interest.

“No,” Lex and I said at the same time.

“Oh.” Her voice only clipped down an octave, marginally disappointed. “Then, no. I hadn’t planned on asking. Honestly, the imagination is probably better. Ooh, maybe I can help with the birth? I’ve studied so much Warwitha Calvin! Oh! I’m a member of her alpha readers! I can ask her any questions I have. He’s pretty rare for a pouch liner—an evolved omega.”

I avoided her gaze as she gushed. I didn’t have enough information when I wrote that into the book to flesh it out, so Warwitha would be a good start… Still…

Bitty got a knowing look in her eye before ushering Lex to the couch where she’d been sleeping, if the pillow and blanket tossed aside were any clue. She sat Lex down and shooed me away before flitting about the kitchen, making sure to pick up the tin of coffee I’d dropped in my brush with death.

When she got the coffeepot up and running, I eyed Jess warily before I went to sit down, making room for Jess on the old, worn sofa. So, when the first waft of terrible coffee hit my nostrils, I melted.

“Cream or sugar?” she called out.

“Neither. And can you make sure there’s like a little pinch of grounds in it? It’s a thing.” I miss the days when coffee was just boiled and they let the grounds settle. The dregs were the best part because the help never got top pours. It was nostalgia.

She hummed and flitted about until she brought me my beat-up tin mug without asking. Moments later, a blender sounded off, fancier coffee met my nostrils, and the hiss of air canisters heralded her traipsing over with three spectacularly pretty blended coffee drinks—Lex’s favorite. She’d used my mason jars—best glasses ever.

Lex stared at the concoction with a whine. “Thanks, but—”

“Yours is decaf, and I added some protein powder boost to the mix.” Bitty handed the drink to Lex, who took it with tears almost gleaming in his eyes.

“Oh, my gods. I love you. Please… Stay.” Lex took the drink with trembling hands and whimpered as he stared at a little chocolate ball placed prettily atop the mound of whipped cream.

“One bean won’t have enough caffeine to hurt anything. I promise. I checked!” She beamed, and Lex snatched the little chocolate and bit in with a delighted crunch. After, he took a deep swig of the drink.

“Zeke, please? Can we keep her?” Lex sucked at the straw like it were air itself, hungrily devouring what he craved. The noise of appreciation he made was enough to make me shiver and stare.

“Y-yeah. Yes.” I took a sip of the scalding coffee and caught a hint of chicory in it—something I’d had shit luck finding in years. “Marry me.”

“Better be a polygamous marriage, because I got dibs first.” Lex took another swig.

“Fighting over me?” I winked at Lex.

“No, we’re fighting over her!” Lex gestured with a finger of a hand still clenched to his blended coffee drink.

“I barista’d for a time in college.” She grinned.

Lex sucked that straw for dear life, eyes rolling back. “Ugh, Zeke. I think I just had my bi awakening.”

“I don’t do that.” She waved her hands dismissively. “But seeing as how you got into this mess,” she said, perching on the arm of the couch by him, “I will happily take the role of your hag.”

She pursed her lips, and before I could ask, Lex snorted. He shook his head. “I think the more politically correct term is fruit fly.”

“Right. Nobody uses the three-letter f-word anymore.” She pursed her lips. “Unless they’re talking about a cigarette.”