Page 49

I’d picked a fucking fantastic world to bear a pup from.

Then I thought about growing, my belly swelling out, how I’d hide it. I found myself on my phone googling sweaters and maternity pants like a loon, sobbing about the potential of stretch marks and more nausea, not being able to fit in my pants. I had such cute clothes! And if I got fat, after, I’d not be able to fit in them again, or I’d be left with a mom belly…

I wasn’t sure how long I sat in the car, but long enough to start looking at maternity clothes and adding online shopping stuff to my cart to prepare… I had even picked out a book on what to expect. Or, I wondered, if I should go back into that bakery book to get a book there.

That gave me pause. I had all the money… I could spend it in another book, buy clothes that fit. I could be cute, couldn’t I? No, I’d have to hide it. The world wouldn’t understand.

And I’d just bought a two-hundred-dollar pair of jeans not six months prior. I maybe had a chance to wear them once, maybe twice before I couldn’t anymore.

And that killed it for me. Of all the things, I broke down into heart, gut-wrenching sobs…over pants.

I wasn’t certain how long I sat there, sobbing, when a knock on my window drew my horrified gaze—Zeke.

My heart clenched, and I turned my head away, not wanting him to see me ugly crying, snot dripping down my face.

But I wasn’t sure what I expected from him, and it sure as hell wasn’t him wrenching open my car door to unbuckle my seat belt and raid my center console for napkins, stuffing a few in my trembling hands before scooping me up from the car seat in a swoon-worthy gesture. “Come on. Shower.”

I didn’t argue, just buried my face in the tissues as he carried me in, keys jangling as he managed to awkwardly hoist me and get the door open with some awkward finagling. Even when we made it to my bedroom where he tugged my clothes off, kissing me with soft whispers of apology, I didn’t speak. And it wasn’t until hot steam surrounded me and scalding water plastered my curls down my back, did I get my first full breath in hours.

Zeke forged in after me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, holding me to him as I took shuddering breaths.

“Take as long as you need.” He stroked over my head, fingers brushing my forehead and coming back as his other arm held me tight. Hot flesh against my back trapped the flow of water between us, wet cloth from his pants rubbing against my bare form. A barrier between the intimacy I craved with him.

“Sorry.” I sniffled and took another long breath.

“It’s okay. Whatever you decide, I’m here. I’m here, and I won’t leave.” He buried his nose in my hair, breathing through my wet locks. “Whatever you want.”

I sniffled.

“My pants…” I sniffled again, realizing once more how stupid it sounded.

“What?” He held still, grip tightening.

“I just bought really cute jeans! My ass looked amazing in them—” The tears choked my voice up. “And I’m going to get big and not fit in them and I have to wear baggy sweaters and can’t even wear cute clothes!”

Zeke froze. “I—whatever your reason. If it’s not what you want, I’ll let you decide.”

“Decide what?” My brain fizzled out for a second as I glanced over my shoulder to catch his serious gaze.

“If you wish to continue with this.” He moved his hand from across my chest to my navel, resting his hand there with a tremble.

“No!” Lex flinched. “That’s not like… My parents can’t find out about this because the questions… Oh, fuck. I mean, I guess my mom might be thrilled, but also, it would give both of them a heart attack! My clothes! Like, how do I hide this from Gio and Syl? What do I do? Am I going to be fired? How am I going to get a kid registered if I’m the one that gives birth to it? And it’s going to come out of there. How do we—”

Zeke took a deep breath and released it, fingers spreading over my belly in such a nervous and wonderful way. “We have to switch identities every thirty or forty years or so. Paperwork isn’t an issue. You should probably go visit them a time or two before you start showing… We can buy new clothes. Stick to the library, and you can wear whatever cute things you want. Gio and Syl… We just keep a blanket on or tilt the camera up a bit. And no, you won’t be fired… Chastised? Maybe. We have someone coming tomorrow to document stuff.”

“You just have all the answers, don’t you?” I laughed once, relishing the hot water easing my eyes. “And why do you even want to be a part of this? You’re not… You don’t have to stick around for a baby you didn’t bargain for.”

Zeke snorted. “I never bargained for one because it was never in my list of possibilities. But I want a family, and after how I was raised, do you think I want anyone else raising my pup?”

“Kid?” he hesitantly added, unsure. “I never understood the wolf thing in that book.”

“The author’s base world for all those novels revolves around humanoids that were restored in a post-apocalyptic scenario from the remains of genetically modified wolves. The DNA resulted in a few canid features and an almost complete deletion of the secondary X chromosome. Omegas started out as prisoners who were forcefully changed to be breeding specimens, so the sentiment hung on that they’re lower class, even if they are 40 percent of the population, which incidentally makes the alphas far angrier and more territorial when there’s not enough to go around.” I felt like a moron rattling it off.

Zeke stifled a laugh, chest shaking against me as I wilted. “It’s stupid, isn’t it?”

“Not at all. It’s lovely that someone managed to create a world you could love.” Zeke kept his hand on my stomach as if willing himself to feel something that wasn’t there quite yet.

“So, you’re not mad? You don’t want me to undo it?” I flinched as Zeke rested a hand on my shoulder, keeping my stomach warm with his hand, smiling so wide I could feel his lips on the back of my neck.