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My stomach clenched. “No.”

“Yeah. That one is a dead dove for me.”

“What the hell is ‘dead dove’?” I frowned.

“It’s internet jargon that takes the place of a variety of trigger warnings that lets the reader know before reading that the contents of the story are particularly rancid,” Isa supplied helpfully.

Jess turned in her seat and stared Isa down. “How the fuck do you know that, but you didn’t know about the omegaverse?”

Isa shrugged.

“I bet you read dead dove,” Jess said, her words a disgusted mutter under her breath.

“No kink shaming.” Isa sniffed imperiously.

“Kink shaming is my kink.” As Jess changed her posture, she threw her legs to the floor with a thump and sighed. Isa remained silent and blank-faced.

“I’m surrounded by degenerates.” I wilted in my seat and leaned my head back. “My opinion doesn’t matter.”

Isa nodded as Jess shrugged. “Doesn’t hurt to offer your opinion.”

“It would, though. I don’t want to stress him. It’s not my choice.” I stood and ran my fingers through my locs, tugging at them to loosen the strain against my scalp as my mind wandered to Lex, his sweet personality, his honesty, and the sound of his laugh.

I did not need this on hair day.

I thought about those things and the chemistry we had, where we didn’t need sex constantly, but when we had it, it was good. I loved holding him in my arms, and maybe loved him—but that was too early to say. And the thought of watching his body change, his belly swell… To hold my own child. I wanted that life.

“What are you thinking about, Zeke?” Isa rested a light hand on my shoulder, and I reached back to touch her too-cold fingers, their presence barely there.

“About what it would be like for us. For him.” I hesitated. “And for me.”

Because of the many options, if things didn’t work between us, or he wanted to… I’d take a child to raise. With two archivist parents, the odds were in favor of him or her being an archivist or something close to it. I could raise a child alone. Couldn’t I?

Isa frowned. “If I had a say, I’d pray for one thing, Zeke.”

I glanced over my shoulder, taking in her sad eyes and stiff posture. “Hmm?”

“For you not to be alone anymore. Whatever happens.” She patted my shoulder, and I nodded.

There was one huge reason I didn’t want to follow Lex, didn’t want to have that talk—because I wanted a child. And I didn’t want to do something he didn’t want.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Lex

Driving from work to home—stopping for a coffee from the singular decrepit coffee hut half rotted along the only highway—went by in a blur.

The logical part of my brain knew caffeine was bad for babies or something, but I afforded myself one coffee just to settle my brain. Just a small one, a blended thing with whipped cream and too much chocolate.

Which, as I sat in my car and stared at the empty cup, wishing there was more, made me realize I cared about the life inside me.

I was an omega—I’d come to terms with that because it was fun. Despite that, I’d not even given a second thought about the possibility of getting pregnant. Or maybe I had? And every fiber of my being vibrated with nervous excitement. I’d fantasized about it for so long, carrying a child, being a father, and having that bond of blood and life. It was unrealistic, and in fantasy, it was great. Fighting off the urge to regurgitate my coffee while I rested my head on the steering wheel of my car wasn’t.

I fought tears as I sat there, wishing I could talk to my mother, my father, Syl, Gio. Anyone.

And then I thought about the little one in my belly, a pup, based in that world, though nobody had shifted in eons. Just old wolf blood and spirit. I rested my hand there and thought about going into a book to change myself, to make him go away. He’d be a him, wouldn’t he? The thought of undoing his life made me ill. I supported a person’s choice, but I wanted to grow, feel my belly grow full, and know the flutter of life.

I didn’t know if I was thrilled about the exit strategy or how I could get a C-section because I was not doing that. Surely with all the magical worlds, maybe I could birth inside of one of the novels, where there were hospitals for that sort of thing. And as I thought back to The Yeast I Could Do For You, I realized they were a world that would rather an omega die than do C-sections or epidurals because it went against nature.