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I’ll admit that I’m somewhat of an open book when it comes to how I feel about people and things. I’m a little quiet and shy, but I’m not hard to figure out. Brewser knows exactly what he’s doing by telling me this. “Okay,” I say. “You don’t have to lay it on so thick. If you think Lawson is enjoying this attention, then of course, I’ll keep doing it.”

“Well, the casseroles are really helping us out too.” He squeezes my hand again. “You’re such a sweetheart. It’s been really great to have the food and it’s also delicious.”

Now my throat tightens. I do love this man, and I was devastated to hear about his diagnosis. He’s in the very early stages, and I know once he tells his friends, they will rally around and help him through it all. Lawson living with him is a huge deal and will allow him to stay in his house for a very long time, and I’m so grateful for that.

Still, I’ve known Brewser all my life. He was my doctor when I was a little girl. He was the one who diagnosed my little sister with cancer. Eventually, my family moved to Minneapolis for specialist care and treatment, but Brewster was the first medical professional to say those scary words and to see my family’s tears. He comforted us. He connected us with specialists. He was the familiar face in the sea of people in white coats.

I lean in and give him a quick hug. “You know I will be here to help you with absolutely anything you need.”

He gives me a soft smile. “Between you and Lawson, I am in great shape right now,” he says. He glances at Andi. “And now I have another ally.”

“Of course you do,” she says. “Anything you need.”

He gives me a little grin. “Well, I need someone to help Sutton with some ideas about how to make Lawson’s stalker better than Beckett’s.”

Andi laughs. “Can do.”

I groan. “I really just want to bake things.”

Andi nudges me with her shoulder. “Liar. You also really want to kiss Lawson Landry.”

Dammit. She’s right.

“But that can’t happen. I’m a stalker. He’s not supposed to know who I am.”

Besides, my brother will not be okay with Lawson and me kissing, and everyone knows that.

“Well, no, he can’t know yet,” Andi says. “But these guys are going to eventually want to meet their secret admirers.”

I vehemently shake my head. “No. Absolutely not. Lawson cannot find out. Ever.”

“Because of Beckett?” Andi says. “Because I think⁠—”

“Because I will be humiliated,” I interrupt. More humiliated. Lawson and the entire hockey team already know that I wrote something in my journal last year about wanting Lawson to teach me everything he knows about sex.

My brother accidentally saw that page, read it before he realized what it was, and then spilled the news to Lawson when Beckett went after him in the locker room after a game. In front of the rest of the team.

I couldn’t make eye contact with anyone on the team, including my own brother, for nearly a week after that.

And Beckett and I never speak of the incident. Ever.

I know Andi thinks I need to tell my brother to fuck off about Lawson and me, but I could never do that. Beckett is my best friend. He knows me better than anyone. He loves me and cares about me. If he thinks Lawson is a bad idea, then he’s a bad idea.

Probably.

It’s well known that Lawson had some trouble with a past teammate, and Lawson left the team shortly after that. No one talks about the details, but his teammate ended up in the hospital after an “altercation”. I know there's been talk and rumors in hockey circles, and my brother has apparently heard things he doesn’t like.

They also originally hated one another when Lawson first joined the team, and it got worse when they started playing what everyone at Rebel affectionately calls "bonkers hockey" rather than straight hockey. Lawson was not a fan, whereas Beckett embraced it fully.

Now it seems they are getting along better, and the entire team, and really the whole town, is happier for it. So, we’re all trying not to rock that boat. Me in particular.

That means Lawson is off-limits.

But more than that…

“The last thing I want is for Lawson to know that I have been sneaking into his house with casseroles.”

I think Lawson would’ve thought that was nice if he knew I was doing it for Brewser. But now for him to believe that I think seducing a man happens through pasta and potatoes and cheese? Come on. And my attempts at “sexier” are ridiculous. I have no idea what I’m doing, and I cannot let Lawson find out that I am his awkward, silly stalker. Especially knowing that I have—or at least had—dirty thoughts about him being my sex tutor.