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“No.” Thank fuck. Thankfully the lizard scurries away and my heart rate settles, beating again at a normal pace. “I’m in your ear.”

It takes me a second to register what that means. My ear, as in the iPod’s earbud. Truthfully, I’m not sure if that’s much better.

I don’t know whether to be relieved or if I should begin the process of grieving him all over again.

I just want to be with him.

Why is that so difficult?

“Okay, Lia, I need you to make your way over to the storage room. There’s something I need you to see. Please, it’s important. It’ll give you the answers I couldn’t.”

13

NATALIA

Things are about to get a little

bumpy and emotional.

I mean they are in a simulation of

the early 2000s…what did you expect?

“Only a little more to go. That’s it, just like that,” Rennix rasps in my ear. “A little more. Don’t stop.” I don’t know how much more of this I can take. “You’re doing so good. Almost there. Don’t stop, Lia.” Yep, that’ll do it. That is in fact my max of what I can take from him talking me through walking and navigating my way through the storage room. “You stopped.”

“Umm, yeah, I was afraid if I kept going with you encouraging me like that, I would’ve come again.”

Rennix’s breathing is muffled in the earbud. “My bad. I’m sorry.”

“Trust me, you don’t have a damn thing to apologize for. Not when you look the way you do and fuck the way you do.” And have my heart in a chokehold the way you do.

“I’ll take it. As long as I made you feel good, that’s all I care about.”

This is a cruel joke.

This man—who was a virgin mere minutes ago, no less—gave me one of the best, if not the absolute best sex I’ve had while making me feel wanted and appreciated at the same time, and now what? I live with this knowledge knowing I can never experience it again?

How’s that fair? Oh, that’s right…it’s not.

“You there?” Rennix asks.

My throat feels like there’s a lump lodged in it. Great. I already know what that means. The waterworks are on their way.

“No, I’ve evaporated. Of course I’m still here.” I cringe at how that comes off. Rennix doesn’t deserve that. Not one bit. I’m just afraid that if I don’t use my go-to coping mechanism of sarcasm, it’ll lead to more tears. I can’t do that. Not again. The floodgates have unleashed enough today. Besides, I’m such an ugly crier I give Kim Kardashian crying memes a run for their money. Adjusting my tone, I try again. “Sorry. I’m just…” Confused. Flustered. You know, actively losing my mind. No big deal. “Never mind. Hey, Ren?”

“Yeah?” The sweetness laced in his deep voice stabs me in the gut. “You didn’t make me feel good. You made me feel amazing.” Too amazing.

“I’m glad.”

Yeah, me too.

Barely able at this point to hold back the tears, I switch topics. “Okay, I’m in the storage room, so tell me, what am I looking for? Also, how can you see me right now?”

“I’m not sure, but I’m not complaining.”

This would be my luck. We finally got over the barriers we built toward each other, gave in to our need for one another, and for what? The only way I can have him with me is by carrying around a piece of technology I’m not even sure they sell chargers for anymore. As soon as it runs out of battery, that’s it, I lose him all over again. I’m really trying not to be pessimistic here, but it is my way of thinking and the cards seem to be stacked against us.

“It’s going to be okay. You don’t need to be afraid, Lia.”