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“I saw him today.” Collin glances at me but can’t hold my gaze. Like looking directly at me will be too intense, like looking into the sun. “He was at the cliffs.”
“In Hollis?” This can’t be right. There’s no way Jonathan returned to Hollis, today of all days.
“Yeah. I wanted to show Kendrick. Thought we could take a quick leap since it was warm today. I was excited that no one was there since the kids were still in school. Except… he was on a rock—”
Collin swallows like saying it is about to make him physically ill.
“Please.” I encourage him quietly, pulling away to wrap my arms around my body as if I can protect myself against whatever comes next.
“He was with a girl. And they looked like… they know each other really well. He’s moved on, Sadie. And it’s not fair to you.”
My body is ice. I can’t feel a thing. I don’t let his words in. I don’t let what they mean enter my mind. I can’t.
Because if I do, it means I have to not only let go of Jonathan Reeves, but every promise we made to each other. Our future together. And our past.
How do I do that when I’m still so in love with him?
How do I let go of love?
I gave Emma space after dropping her off at the disturbingly cheery, yellow house on Decatur Street. It’s not what I wanted to do, leaving her there. Knowing Rachel was waiting on the porch made it hard to drive away. But she insisted this is her relationship. With her mother. And with Evan—another person she has to answer to because of my impulsivity.
Maybe I was right after all. Impulsive decisions only get people hurt. Damn the consequences… until they’re right there waiting to kick you in the ass. It was selfish of me to put her in this position. And I don’t know if it was worth it. She didn’t confront her true fear.
But we did knock down another layer of bricks from our walls. I still feel raw from letting Emma see so much of my past. She probably doesn’t understand half of it, but it took me years to let my childhood best friends know this much about me.
That’s why I don’t call or text. I need time to assess the damage. Returning to Hollis wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. Emma may have had something to do with it. She’s not connected to my past, so she kept it from haunting me. Or maybe the worst of it visits me every night, so reality doesn’t wield the same power over me.
And the strange thing is, the next morning I wake up to my alarm. I try to recall if I woke in the middle of the night or if I dreamt of anything. I can’t. I think I actually slept through the night.
Make that two nights. Because I wake again to the sound of my alarm the next morning too.
Holy shit.
And all I had to do was admit that I’m exactly who I never wanted to be. Does that mean I can change? Or is this who I’m fated to be?
I think of my brother. He was still at the beginning of discovering who he was. He had just started high school. I have to change. I already promised to dedicate my life to the one he never got. It’s time to get over myself and be worthy of him.
Nice suit.”
I look up from my computer. Priscilla Prescott strolls into our office and rolls Clark’s empty chair in front of my desk before taking a seat.
Both he and Clara are probably already in the conference room. The name similarities throw everyone off, me included.
“Thank you,” I say, not sure what to expect, but I’m on edge, not prepared to see her today. I still feel too exposed—and that’s the last thing I want to be in Priscilla’s presence. I swear she can sense weakness.
“How have you been?”
“Good, thanks. And you?”
A wry smile spreads across her face. “You know I’m not here for small talk.”
I remain silent.
“I understand you’ll be leaving the firm soon. Congratulations on your acceptance into USC’s engineering graduate program. Fresh start?”
“Something like that.”
She nods. “When do you leave?”