Page 112
“I didn’t know. We didn’t know.” Her mother paused, her breathing audible. “Are you saying you’d rather not come at all?”
“No, of course I’m not saying that. I’m looking forward to seeing you, but I want our visit to be about spending time together and enjoying each other’s company. I don’t want to feel pressure and guilt. And I want to know that the roads are safe.” She heard the deep rumble of her father’s voice in the background and knew he’d been listening.
There was a moment and then her father’s voice came down the phone.
“Brooke?”
“Dad?”
“Your mother needs a moment.”
Brooke’s eyes filled. “Dad, I’m—”
“She’s fetching a glass of water, Brooke. Give her a minute. You’re sure you’re all okay? No injuries at all? You’re not keeping that from us?”
“No, we’re fine.”
Was her mother crying? Had she made her mother cry?
“Dad, listen—”
“We might have to call you back, Brooke.” Her father’s voice was roughened. “Will that be convenient?”
“Of course.” She felt terrible. She should never have said anything. It had made her feel worse, not better. She’d hurt them, and she hated that.
“Oh, wait—here’s your mother now. Are you still there, Brooke?”
“Yes. Still here.”
“Right. Well, I’m handing you back to your mother, so—”
“Brooke?”
“Mom? I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I know that, honey. And I never meant to hurt you, either. I had no idea you felt that way. That I was smothering you. That was never my intention. And I didn’t think for a moment that the pressure would make you decide to push on in a storm when you should have sheltered. How bad was this accident? Are you sure everyone is okay?”
“Yes. Really.” Despite her best efforts, tears spilled out of her eyes. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
“You have no reason to be sorry, Brooke. I’m the one who should be saying sorry. You were a wonderful child, and you’re a wonderful woman. We’re lucky to have such a special daughter. And we’re lucky to have Matt as a son-in-law. We don’t say that enough.”
Her mother’s generosity and bravery made her feel worse.
“I do miss you both. I’m not abandoning you, but I’m making a life of my own. A family of my own. I love you and Dad, I really do, and that isn’t going to change no matter where I’m living.”
“We know that, honey. Of course we do.” Her mother’s voice was thickened, too. “I’m glad you told us how you feel. I wish you’d said something sooner. We always used to talk, didn’t we? Remember those afternoons when you came in from school and we’d make dinner together and we’d talk about anything and everything? There wasn’t a single thing you couldn’t say to me. Lord, there were days when I wished you’d keep some of those thoughts to yourself. Hearing about what you and your friends were up to scared me half to death.”
Brooke smiled and wiped her cheeks with the heel of her hand. How could she have forgotten that? The good times and closeness that she’d felt had somehow faded into the background, eclipsed by the current situation. “I remember. You were the best mom. You are the best mom.”
“Well, not always, and not this time. I should have seen how it might feel for you.” Her mother paused. “I suppose I was thinking about myself. Sometimes you have strong feelings as a parent, but that doesn’t mean you should put those feelings on a child. Sometimes you can hold on to someone too tightly. I can see I’ve been guilty of that.”
Brooke looked out the window to where the girls were still playing.
Elsie had secured Poppy’s scarf around her neck to keep her warm, and Poppy was tugging at it, trying to free herself from the unwelcome woolly bondage.
Her lips moved and even without hearing her, Brooke knew what she was saying.
It’s scratchy.
