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I frowned. Did I?
She gave a little chuckle and slipped a hand out from the blankets to rest on my knee. I held it, curling our fingers together, sighing as her eyes drifted closed, and her smile faded into the slack of sleep.
I waited until her breathing had been even for twenty minutes, then slowly let go of her hand, returning it to her. She stirred, but didn’t wake. When I was certain she wouldn’t, I crept out of the room, telling the healer who sat at a desk outside that she was asleep, and I’d been called to the General’s office.
“We’ll watch for her,” the woman said with a reassuring smile.
I nodded, but reached for Kham.
With the exception of hunting for food, he and Koa had remained close enough to the castle to reach us ever since we’d landed. I was sure they both needed the rest as well.
‘Kham, I have to go see Donavyn. Can you have Koa tell you if Grace wakes before I’m back, so I can return?’
‘We’ll make certain you know. Go. It will be good for you to see the sun.’
Sun? It was daytime?
‘Thank you. But I want to return right away if she wakes up.’
‘Go, Voski. We’ll make sure you know.’
“We’ve received word from Fyrehold, exactly as you predicted.” Donavyn stood at the window behind his desk. I sat in a chair. I’d hurriedly bathed and dressed in clean leathers, uncertain how many days it had been since my last change. My hair was still wet when I clawed a hand through it, my heart dropping at the reminder of everything.
“Who’s taken the throne?”
“That’s unclear. The news comes from one of our informants, and the missive was written only days after you left.”
“Days? How many days? They must have taken longer than me to travel?”
Donavyn frowned. “Voski… you’re aware that you’ve been back for a week already?”
I blinked. “We have?”
He nodded slowly. “I think it’s good that you’re there for Grace, and I’m sure you both need the physical rest. But, I wanted to speak with you. Because time has not stopped. And life won’t either. We could use you—especially as information begins to filter in about what’s happened in the aftermath.”
I tensed. Which was odd. Usually, I felt eager to be of help. Usually, I felt useless unless I had information or expertise that was needed. But right now… if Grace hadn’t been Flameborne, I wondered, would I even have returned?
I didn’t want to talk about what had transpired in Fyrehold. I didn’t want to be forced to give details about my past, or answer questions about the things and people I’d known. The things I’d done. Yet, even as those thoughts entered my head, something in my heart breathed caution about pushing it all away. I frowned.
“What is it?” Donavyn asked quickly.
I shook my head. “Nothing to do with your message. I just remembered the advice Terra gave me and… I need to speak with Grace this evening, that’s all.”
Donavyn nodded thoughtfully. “Did she talk to you about weeping?”
I almost choked. “No. Not specifically. Why would you—”
“It’s advice I was given after I lost a brother in battle,” he said, flapping a hand as if it were nothing big. But his eyes never left mine. So I waited.
Donavyn cleared his throat. “I have your pin,” he said. I waited, assuming he meant to get it and pin me again. It was something I knew I should look forward to. Something that I’d ached for when we were in pursuit of this. Something I’d been terrified to lose. But now…
Now, I just felt numb. And a little uneasy. Not because I didn’t want to return to being a Furyknight, but because I still woke from every sleep with a jolt, my body convinced Grace was dead. Or my mother had returned. Or Breckon was somehow alive and on his way to take Grace again.
It only took moments to reorient and remind myself that we were safe. That Grace was mine. And Mother was dead. But that jolt took me right back to the days when I’d been so fearful of losing her. Of losing everything…
There wasn’t room to think about duties, and patrols and—
“Voski, you once did something incredibly meaningful for me. And I’d like to return the favor, at least in part. I’d like to put aside being your Commander for a moment, and talk to you, man to man. Friend to friend. If you’d let me?”