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“Great, then I would love to ride the train back with you.”

When we say goodbye to Annie and Sebastian, my brother asks for a word with me, and I agree. We step off to the side, just a few feet from anyone.

Sebastian’s hands are in his pockets as he tilts his body closer to me. His voice is soft, “Can I tell her?”

The sentence is vague, but I know exactly what he’s asking. He wants permission to share my backstory with Annie.

I swallow. “Oh, uh—”

He cuts me off. “You can think about it. You don’t need to answer right now. Just text me the answer when you’re ready. If you’re ever ready.”

If you’re ever ready.

I repeat those words back in my head and focus on the if. If. If. If.

If I’m ready, I’m not sure if I am, but I want to be ready, which is why I blurt out, “It’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” I stuff my hands in my pockets.

“Okay. Great. Thank you,” he says with a nod.

“Do you guys need a ride somewhere?”

“Nah, we’re good with the train.”

We finish our goodbyes and then head to the train station, which is adjacent to the stadium. The T is extremely crowded; we are squished in tight, my ass shoved against the train door, after barely finding room. Thankfully, we only have a few short stops.

“He’s the next stop after me,” she says, waggling her brows.

I sigh. I guess I’ll confide in her, just a little.

“I doubt he’d want me to come over.”

She cackles. “Come on. Did you see the way that man looked at you? Oh. My. God.” She fans her face like she’s overheating, despite it being dead winter.

“Stop. He did not.”

The train brakes at the next station and the doors burst open. I take a step back on the platform to let everyone out, including my sister.

She gives me a big hug and whispers in my ear, “I think you should test the theory.” She winks, then promises to text me later.

I step back on the train and maneuver to a better spot, standing but with a pole right in front of me to hang onto.

I break out my phone and hover over Calvin’s name. I’m not sure whether I’d get service if I call him and whether he’d hear me over the noise if I did.

I take a deep breath and settle on a text. That still counts as being brave, right?

Me: Hey, I’m sorry about earlier

I hit send and type out another text when a reply from him comes through.

Calvin: Nothing to be sorry about

I’m not sure if that’s true, but I finish my text and hit send.

Me: Do you mind if I come over?