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‘Come to help out on elf ’n’ safety for the day?’ Luke says. Lara looks like she’s struggling to return his smile.

‘I brought some doughnuts,’ she says, handing a box to Will.

‘I wonder how cardamom and ginger would taste on these,’ he says thoughtfully.

‘I thought we’d convinced you to rest today? You’ll be shattered, working here and your full-time job,’ I scold her gently.

Lara smiles. ‘Well . . .’ She glances at Will again. ‘Actually, Gwen, could I have a word? Just with you. I’m here with my guardian hat on.’

‘Of course.’ I suddenly feel worried. I look at Horse, who gives a nod of reassurance.

‘Come on, young Will, let’s find some trees to cut for customers today,’ he says, leading Will off into the forest. As they go, Will glances back over his shoulder at us, looking puzzled.

‘Don’t eat all the doughnuts before we come and find you!’ I call after them, my throat feeling a little tight.

Chapter 34

I make a pot of tea and put it on the kitchen table.

‘What’s up, Lara? You look upset.’

‘I’m fine, really,’ she says. ‘I’m not upset. Actually . . .’ She takes a deep breath. ‘It’s good news!’

I smile as I fit the knitted cosy onto the teapot.

‘Well, that’s great! What is it?’

She takes a deep breath. I see her shoulders drop and her chin lift as she slips into ‘professional Lara’.

‘We’ve got a couple who we think could be a match with Will.’

‘A match?’ I say, not quite understanding.

She nods. ‘A couple looking for a child to adopt. Happy to take a child up to Will’s age. They’re a perfect match. This is them.’ She opens her iPad and shows me a photograph of a smiling couple sitting close together on a big, plump sofa. They’re probably in their early forties.

I’m brought up short. Of course, I knew this might happen at some point – it’s what we hoped for. But somehow I seem to have pushed it to the back of my mind, behind a sea of Christmas trees, curry recipes and Christmas memories old and new – what with everything feeling like it did when Paddy was here during his favourite time of year, and then the addition of the Christmas wishing and memory trees . . . There’s been so much to think about. I haven’t been expecting this.

I can’t really take it in. My eyes have gone a bit blurry.

‘I know this is probably a bit of a surprise. You’ll need to give yourself time to get used to the idea,’ says Lara gently. ‘But they would like to meet Will.’

‘Of course; this is brilliant,’ I try to say, as emotion tightens my throat. I clear my throat and clap my hands together in my fingerless gloves. ‘Er, who are they? Are they from around here? When will all this happen?’ I’m suddenly full of questions.

‘They’re called William and Louise. They’re within the county. They don’t have any children, but they do have a dog. A labradoodle called Polly.’

‘Excellent news! Really excellent.’ I give another cough, standing up and turning away from the table to look out onto the yard, which is already starting to fill up with early-morning tree shoppers.

The bikers are back and all wearing Santa hats, pulling on gloves ready to help customers lift trees into their cars once they’ve chosen. Luke is in the barn, getting ready to tuck the trees into netting, while Horse is out in the forest ready with his saw to cut and carry them to the barn. If it’s anything like it has been they’ll all be helping get the trees into people’s cars in no time; squeezing them in through the boot, some of them poking out through sunroofs. Or tossing ropes to each other and tying the trees to roof racks.

It’s just about as joyous as it gets out there. I watch Khadiza be dropped off by her parents, which we’ve arranged. Khadiza gets out of the car followed by her father. She runs to Will with a tin and lifts the lid, offering him something from it. He reaches in and pulls out what looks to be something soft and sweet and, nodding a lot, reaches back in for another one as he chews the first and they both giggle with glee. I wonder if they’ll stay in touch, I find myself thinking. Will she miss having found a new friend? I give another little cough and a sniff.

‘So, what happens next?’ I ask, trying to hide what I’m actually feeling, which is like a storm brewing inside me. I try to stay calm; I know I do have to hold it in, for Will’s sake. This is what was planned all along. It’s what he wants.

‘Well, usually the prospective parents would go to the family centre . . .’

‘Oh, not that place!’ I say without thinking, remembering how hot it was and how desperate I was to leave.

She gives a little laugh.