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‘Do what? How will you make this happen? You need income.’

I take in a deep breath.

‘I don’t know. I will think of something.’ Just what, I have no idea right now. But it won’t be moving into Gareth’s house on the estate, or sending Will to that school.

I head outside to cool off and find Will. Luke and Scarlett are getting ready to leave.

‘Everything okay?’ says Luke.

‘I . . .’ I look around, distracted. ‘My, erm – Will, who’s staying with me, he’s gone off into the forest. He does that. Just needs some space.’

‘We all need that,’ says Luke. ‘I’m hoping to do it myself once we move in,’ he adds with a cheeky grin, making me smile despite the row I’ve had with Gareth.

I think it may be the end of our friendship, finally. Gareth is lonely, and maybe a little envious of what Paddy and I had, I realize. But that doesn’t mean he can step in and take over where Paddy left off. No way.

‘He’ll need to tell me his hiding spots,’ says Luke.

They won’t be much good once Scarlett cuts down the forest, I think, but I don’t say it.

‘Do you need a hand finding him?’ Luke hesitates, going to get back out of the car.

‘No, thank you; I think I know where he is,’ I say, raising a hand as a goodbye. He raises one back. Scarlett pushes the car into gear and takes off towards the drive so fast that he barely has a chance to shut the door. Mogs is in the back, filming through the front window.

I turn and head towards the forest in search of Will.

‘So we’re really not going to Gareth’s, then?’ Will stands beside me. We are both looking up at the big Christmas tree.

‘That’s right. We definitely won’t be moving to Gareth’s.’

He shrugs.

‘My mum would finish with her boyfriends, and then a few days or weeks later, she’d get back with them. Until they finished again. It was just how it was. Plans changed all the time.’

‘Oh, Will, no. That’s not going to happen. I’m truly sorry things have been so confusing lately. But I’m not going to change my mind again about this.’

‘Good,’ he says. And then, ‘And I definitely don’t have to go to that horrid school?’

I shake my head. ‘As I said, it was always your choice. Once I sell the farm . . . if you wanted to go there, then we could talk about it.’

‘I don’t.’

‘Okay. But going to school might be fun. Not necessarily that one. And not one that you sleep at. Just one you go to in the daytime.’

‘So, I’m staying with you?’

‘Until Lara finds you a forever home, yes. Is that okay?’

He nods, and I find myself wishing that Horse was here with us. Things always seem a little brighter when he’s around, I realize. Maybe it’s not just Will who misses him.

Chapter 19

It’s Will who says it first. I may have been thinking it, but he actually says it out loud. It’s more of a statement than a question.

‘We could always open up the Christmas tree farm,’ he suggests, tucking into the samosas he and I have spent the last two days practising. (‘Ayesha always made samosas if I was sad,’ he said to me. ‘I want to make them for you.’)

Will seemed to understand that I had a lot going on. Samosas were his answer to that, so that’s what we did. I scoured the internet on my phone and found a recipe. Seems like phones do have some use after all! We’ve been perfecting the recipe ever since, just me and Will with my phone splattered with batter and in my hair piled up on top of my head. And whenever I glance out into the yard, the chubby robin is there looking on.

The financial reality of my situation has really started to set in. With my savings lost to the forfeited deposit on the new build flat, I’ve got nothing to fall back on – no way to secure a new place for us. The developer has flat-out refused to return the money, even though he’s already found another buyer for the little flat.