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I instantly recognized everybody.

Bam. Scotty. Kim. Elijah.

And Hov.

The second my eyes landed on him, my nerves flared.

I hadn't spoken to him since RJ slipped into that coma, and truthfully, I didn't know what there was left to say.

Even now, after all this time has passed, I still didn't know if Hov was RJ's father.

I never asked whose rare O-positive blood they used for RJ's transfusion because if it wasn't mine, it more than likely belonged to his real father.

No matter what was going on with the DNA, at least Hov showed up at church today.

No, he didn't sit in the front row pretending to be RJ's father or putting on some performance for people, but he was there.

And that mattered to me more than he would ever know.

Reggie, on the other hand, had only come to the hospital a few times the first month he was there, crying over Rj’s bed like he was so hurt. He and his family would shoot nasty looks my way like my baby hadn’t gotten hurt under their care. I still didn’t have the energy to say what I really wanted to say to any of them, because right now grief was weighing heavier on me than anger. They eventually stopped showing up and I hadn't seen Reggie in weeks.

Pernelle and I sat down on the stoop, and for the first time in a while, I actually let myself look up instead of down. The sky was bright and clear, painted a beautiful blue with clouds stretched across it so perfectly that I found myself trying to find comfort in whatever message God was sending through all that beauty.

For a few moments, I let myself get lost in it. I saw the hope that Pernelle had spoken of—that gleam of a better life ahead, peeking through the clouds. I was never one to see the beauty in the earth or the signs Mother Nature gives us. But today it symbolized hope and peace, even if only briefly.

When my eyes drifted back down to the block, I scanned the street absentmindedly, watching people move around and cars passing slowly, until my attention landed on Amir Quatar, walking up toward Crew’s car with that undeniable swag he always unintentionally carried.

Instantly, all the dudes standing around the cars turned toward him. That was that aura I was talking about. Even to some of the hardest niggas around the city, Amir deserved attention and respect when he walked up.

He greeted everybody casually, moving through the group in that calm, confident way he always carried himself. He was still dressed in his native clothing, probably because he’d come straight from the church to here. I had caught small glimpses of him earlier, and I was shocked to see him there due to our cultural differences, but he was, and that meant a lot.

I hadn’t actually heard from Amir since the trip to the hospital. I’m sure everything he witnessed that day was traumatizing and eye opening for him, especially about the baby daddies diabolical.

But little did he know the old Jas died when Rj got hurt, and I no longer feel the same, look at life the same, nor do I crave the same things I used to.

Now, instead of the company of a man, I am craving peace and hope, all while secretly pregnant with Amir’s child. A child that no one else knows about, but me.

I can't believe through all of this, I am carrying a baby.

Chapter 4

Amir

“Jamies and Aron still posted up at the end of each of these blocks, so we good out here. No threats should be getting through.”

Crew blew out a thick cloud of smoke from his lips as he glanced down the crowded block. I don’t think anything I said would take this nigga off high alert.

Ever since the church gathering started earlier, Crew has been paranoid about somebody trying to slide through and turn his nephew’s event into a war zone. And honestly? I couldn’t even blame him.

Everybody he loved was gathered in one place at the same time, from his mama and his sisters to their kids. To the wrong nigga, this may have looked like an opportunity and the perfect chance for payback, but we weren’t letting no shit like that happen today.

I had niggas posted all over Brooklyn watching for anything suspicious, like parked cars sitting too long, speeding vehicles circling the area, and unfamiliar faces hanging around too hard.

One look out was Pernelle’s little brother, Princeton, who was the best lookout I’ve seen in years in the game. I’m not sure how the little nigga did it, but he had information on everything around the entire city. He's a teenager and he has more info than me and Scotty most days. When he gets older, he could really take some shit over.

“Appreciate you looking out, bro. I want today to go by without any bullshit, especially for my sister. But if a nigga wants to come through here on some dumb shit, they're leaving this block with more holes than an unfinished plot, ya feel me.”

“You know I do.”