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Hiding Her Highland Heart Away

Page 27

by Ava McArthur

20

Orla twisted and turned, and then awoke with a start. Her hands had balled into fists, and straggling strands of hair splayed around the pillow. She pushed herself into a sitting position and blinked frantically as she tried to orient herself. Heat dissipated within her chest as she breathed deeply, thinking to herself that it was just a dream, nothing but a dream. She groaned as she swung her legs out of bed and drew the curtains. The sun had risen, and by the looks of it, it had been that way for a good few hours now.

There was only one thought in her mind; Hamish. She had to find him. She frantically pulled a dress out of her closet and threw it on haphazardly, not even caring if all the clasps were fastened properly. She left her hair loose and slipped on some comfortable shoes, not bothering with the ones that had straps. She flung the door open and rushed out of her room. Her mind was still filled with the thoughts of the dream, and she was terrified that if she did not do anything about it, then soon she would lose him forever. She would lose him before she even had him.

The first thing she did was rush to his room and hammer on the door. She beat her fists, and when he did not answer, she grabbed the handle herself and pulled it open, for the moment not caring about privacy. However, she stood there aghast when she saw that the room was empty. She stepped in, as though in a daze, and even looked under the blankets of the bed, as though he had made himself impossibly tiny and was hiding from her. But no, it was empty. It was as though he had never been there at all.

Why hadn’t she just told him to stay? The thought careened through her mind, and she scowled in frustration.

Then, a glimmer of hope. Perhaps he had not left yet!

She rushed down the stairs, taking them two at a time and almost falling on her face when she reached the bottom. Her momentum carried her forward, though, and she rushed into the lounge, where Nova and Edward were sitting together. They looked up as they were abruptly interrupted.

“Where is he?” Orla spluttered, halting her movement against the back of a couch. “Hamish? Why is his room empty? I need tae talk tae him!”

“I’m afraid that Hamish thought it best if he took his leave and returned to the Highlands. He took a carriage back at dawn this morning,” Edward said.

Orla’s heart sank. “But… but why would ye dae such a thing? He was only defending me… defending us,” she looked towards Edward with an accusing glare. Edward leaned back and remained calm.

“I did not ask him to leave. In fact, I was quite grateful for his actions last night. It’s a show of the man’s integrity. It was his decision to leave, one that he made alone.”

“Well then maybe I can take a horse and catch him. I can travel faster on a horse than he can in a carriage,” Orla said, already turning to implement her plan, which was unfolding in her mind as she was thinking it. There were many routes out of London so she couldn’t have been sure which one Hamish would have taken, but at least she knew where he was going. However, before she could leave for the stables, Nova called her back.

“I think ye might want tae stay here, Orla.”

“What? Nae… I dinnae want tae stay in England any longer. I hae been wrong. I need tae speak tae Hamish. I can find him. I can reach him,” Orla protested.

“Orla, he dinnae leave alone,” Nova said softly.

“What dae ye mean? Who did he take with him?” Orla asked, but she knew the answer before Nova could give it. Even so, she gave it all the same.

“Ethel Johnson, Collin’s cousin. I understand that she and Hamish became quite close at the events we attended,” Nova said. Orla felt as though someone had ripped open her heart, poured salt into the open wound, and then lit it on fire for good measure. She staggered back and gasped. Hearing this news was akin to being punched in the stomach. Her dream had been prophetic. She was too late. Hamish had been taken from her, and she had not even been able to put up a fight to keep him there.

Nova rose and approached Orla, but Orla could not bear to be with anyone else at this moment. She retreated from the room and stumbled back upstairs, her feet almost tripping on the steps because they were leaden, and she lacked the strength to lift them as high as usual. She melted into the bed, the sheets of which were still warm, and they would become hotter still, as her tears flowed upon them. They poured freely from her eyes and stained her cheeks. Her haggard breaths scorched her throat, and her entire body felt as though it was going to burst with all the sorrow that was contained within.

Behind her, she heard movement. The door closed. She looked up and, through her blurred vision, saw that Hannah had joined her.

“I saw him leave this morning. I can’t understand why men do what men do. I’m sorry, ma’am,” she said, and then knelt beside Orla. Orla couldn’t say anything in reply. Any words she tried to speak were swallowed by the fretful sobs that bubbled out of her. She clung to Hannah like a drowning man would cling to driftwood. She was sinking deeply into despair and was not at all sure how she would be able to rise to the surface again. All the strength had been taken from her. It was not just her heart that had been broken, but all of her.

* * *

A couple of days passed, when Collin arrived at the townhouse. Orla was little more than a ghost. Her skin was pale, and she had shown no enthusiasm for anything since Hamish had left. While she had not confided in Nova the true reason for her melancholy, she suspected that Nova knew. When Hannah came to fetch her, saying that Collin had arrived, Orla sighed heavily. This was the last thing she needed.

Collin was dressed in an impeccable suit and stood before Edward and Nova. He had been waiting for Orla to arrive before he began.

“I am here to offer my most sincere apologies for my behavior the last time I was here. I meant no offence and can only say that, sadly, the wine got the better of me. I wish that I could take back my actions, because it was not how I wanted the evening to end at all, and can only hope that you find it in your hearts to forgive me. I can assure you that nothing like this shall happen again, and I would also request that I have some moments alone so that I can speak to Orla myself,” he said.

Edward nodded gravely. He and Nova left the room. Orla kept her head bowed.

“Are you ill? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone with such a lack of color in their cheeks,” he began, but when she did not reply he simply continued with his bluster. “I came here to apologize. I understand that I said things that were wrong, and it won’t happen again. My father has set me straight on a few things. However, I feel as though you owe me an apology as well. If you are to be my wife, then you must understand that you cannot speak out against me like that. Your job is to support me in all matters,” he maintained.

Orla did lift her head at this. Perhaps the only thing that could have lifted her grim pallor was being antagonized by him. “Ye think I am still gaeing tae marry ye after what ye said?” her voice was harsh.

Collin looked nonplussed. “Of course. Why wouldn’t you? It’s not as though you’re going to get any better.”

“Ye insulted my home. Ye insulted me.”

“And I have apologized. Now we move on and we can make a future for ourselves, although I must say that your conduct does need some work. If you are to be a good wife for me, then there are certain things you must learn. For one-”

Orla cut him off before she had to listen to anymore of his tripe. “I’m nae marrying ye, Collin. I could never love a man like ye, and I was a fool for ever believing that I could. Ye are a horrid man, and I pity any woman who ends up with ye. Now get on with ye business. Ye are nae welcome around here, and ye can tell that tae the Duke as well,” she spat.

Collin looked incensed at this. His face twisted and his eyes bulged, while his cheeks glowed red.

“Well, I never… you folk from the Highlands are all the same. Mad savages, the lot of you!” he said before he stormed out. This time Orla did not care at all about the insult that had been flung her way, she was just glad that he had gone.

Edward and Nova came in after he had left, and Orla explained that she did not think Collin and she would make a suitable pair. Neither of them seemed too upset at the news, but Edward promised her that there were still three weeks of their trip remaining, so there was plenty of time for her to meet other men.

Oh, how torturous those three weeks were, how painful to her spirit and her mind. Her thoughts were continually lingering on Hamish, even though she knew she could not see him again. He was back in the Highlands with his paramour, perhaps he had even been married by now. The thought sickened her, and during these three weeks, she could not eat as heartily as she had done before. In fact she did not do anything with her usual exuberance. She attended balls, but she did not spend as much time getting ready as she had done for that first ball. She danced with other men, but all of them paled in comparison to Hamish, and the thought of kissing any of them left her feeling disgusted. Afterward, there were calling cards left for her, but none of the men excited her. It was a sad day when she had to admit that the only man she really wanted wasn’t an Englishman at all, but rather the Highland brute who had gotten under her skin with such ease.

She put on a pretense for Edward and Nova’s sake because they had been kind enough to bring her on this trip in the first place, but it had not developed as she had planned at all, and now she was left with nothing to do but return to the Highlands and hope that she could find some solace there.