Page 17

“I dinnae know how well ye knew my brother, but he wouldnae hae welcomed these people. He never haed much cared for the sick and infirm.”

“I knew him well,” Tovie said quietly, and it was difficult to glean the meaning in her tone. He tried to gaze into her eyes, but they were averted from him. He assumed she was still mourning, and rightly so. He had taken away her love, just as he had had his love taken away from him. He had become everything he despised in order to save his clan, and he just had to keep thinking about the people who were going to live because of his sacrifices. It was the only way he could keep going. However, what she said next shook him to his core, and it wasn’t something that he had been expecting.

“How about ye tell me something of yer past, perhaps something about Cat?”

Niall blinked. At first, he wasn’t sure he had heard her correctly, for how could she know that name? His stomach churned as the past bled through to the present like dye seeping through fabric. She wasn’t supposed to know about Cat. She wasn’t supposed to know about that part of his life. He had left it behind in the wild, but now she was bringing it back here, using it to stab at his heart. He gazed into his wine, into the lake of crimson that rippled gently in his goblet, and all he wanted was to throw himself into it and never surface. His throat tightened, and grim thoughts swarmed his mind. His skin prickled, and he started to think that this was a bad idea.

“What dae ye know about her?” he asked, the words feeling like stones in his mouth.

“I know that she was yer healer, that she meant a lot tae ye, and that she died,” Tovie said.

Niall pursed his lips together. Was that how Cat was going to be summed up? Was that how their time together was going to be remembered, reduced to a mere few words? The multitudinous feeling within seemed to suggest otherwise, but if he was never going to speak of her and keep trying to push thoughts of her away then what else was she going to be?

Perhaps it was time that he let some of his past shine through. It wasn’t as though he wanted to be at odds with Tovie, and she might respond well if he told her the truth.

But not here.

Not in this place.

He rose abruptly and walked around the table toward her, taking her hand. It was soft and supple in his. He towered over her. “Join me for a walk,” he said, intending to tell her everything. In her eyes, he saw something flicker, some nascent emotion that he couldn’t quite discern. She pulled her hand away and pushed the chair back, making an excuse to leave.

Niall was left in the empty chamber again, not understanding what he had done wrong.