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Niall breathed out of his nose and narrowed his eyes. “Ye hae been saying that for the past two years.”

“Dinnae rush the lad,” Moira said, offering her son a reassuring smile. The gesture was welcomed, but Ruairi couldn’t help but feel undeserving of it as well. Why would she love him so much when he was such a failure?

“I’m nae rushing him, Moira! The lad haes been delaying and delaying his destiny for tae long. If we dinnae address it now, we never will.” Niall turned from his wife to his son and spoke with clipped words. “Ruairi, I know ye are despondent, but it’s long past time we moved beyond what haes happened. Ye need tae prepare tae take yer place as laird of this clan. There are certain expectations of ye, and ye hae always known this. Ye hae always wanted this. What haes changed?”

Ruairi shrugged and looked away. “I’m nae as great a man as ye are, Da. And what lass is gaeing tae want tae marry me? All the Highlands knows my story; the man who almost caused a war.”

“Ye were nae responsible for that,” Moira said quickly. “The laird’s advisor—” She was cut off by Niall, who spoke forcefully.

“We dinnae need tae gae over old ground. That is in the past. We need tae look tae the future. Ruairi, any lass would be happy tae marry intae our clan. Aside from the Monroes, we are the most prosperous clan in the Highlands! There will be no shortage of willing brides.”

“Aye, seeking fortune and comfort. But what of me? What will they think of me?”

“They’ll think whatever ye tell them tae think. When did ye become sae concerned with other people’s opinions, Ruairi? A laird demands respect. He does nae beg for it.”

“I keep telling ye I’m nae ready tae be laird,” Ruairi shot back in a strained voice. Niall threw up his hands, almost knocking over his cup of wine.

“I dinnae know what tae dae anymore. I cannae stand it, seeing ye wander about this castle like a ghost. Ye are caught in the past, Ruairi. I hae tried tae be patient with ye. I hae tried tae drag ye along like a stubborn mule, but still, ye will nae budge. There is only one thing I can think that might make ye realize yer place here. If ye truly dinnae want tae be laird, then I’ll hae tae declare Kevan and Maura as lairds of the clan, and then ye can brood until yer dying day.”

Moira looked shocked at this, and Ruairi felt as though he had been punched in the gut. He rose from his chair, face like thunder, but he didn’t have the strength in him to fight.

“Aye, Da, maybe ye hae the right way of things. After all, ye hae always known what’s best for the clan. Maura haes always been better than me. I’ve always been second best. It’s time I stepped aside and stopped bringing everyone down with my despair. I’ll leave here, far away. I’ll find a ship, and ye’ll never hae tae be bothered with me again.”

Moira let out a choking sob as Ruairi stormed out of the room and marched to his chambers, where he gathered a few clothes and his sword. Behind him came the patter of light footsteps. His mother, gentle and demure, stepped through the door.

“Ruairi, please, ye cannae mean this. I know ye and yer da hae been fighting because of this, but ye cannae leave. This is yer home.” Her words were imploring and soft, but Ruairi’s heart was hard.

“Ma… I am nae happy here. Ye can see this. I cannae be laird when all I can think is that I hae been a failure. Kevan and Maura know how tae lead a clan. I cannae bring myself tae be something I’m nae. How can I expect people tae respect me when I cannae respect myself?”

Moira rushed up to him and placed a hand against his cheek. Her touch was tender and warm. It took him back to those moments in childhood when she would gather him in her arms and wrap him up in all of her comforting love. “I respect ye, Ruairi, and I love ye. I know matters weigh heavily on yer heart, but that is just because ye hae always been more sensitive than ye would care tae admit. There’s nothing wrong with feeling guilty about what ye did. I would be more worried if ye did nae care at all, but this will always be yer home no matter how far ye travel. I want ye tae know that. Ye are always welcome here, and ye will always be loved.”

“Ye…ye are nae gaeing tae stop me?” Ruairi asked, drawing back with surprise. Moira shook her head once.

“I hae seen people rushing towards their destiny, and I hae seen people finding happiness in the strangest places. It haes hurt my heart tae see ye wander about this castle for the past two years without any joy in yer heart. I tried tae tell yer da nae tae force ye intae anything. I thought ye just needed time, but perhaps ye are right and ye need tae be in a different place tae forget about the boy ye were and grow intae the man ye will become. I would prefer ye tae stay, but most of all, I want ye tae be happy. And the sad truth is that ye cannae be happy here, nae at the moment. And I doubt ye would be able tae love a lass, either. If this is what ye must dae, then it’s what ye must dae, but I want ye tae know that ye can come back at any time. I dinnae want this tae be goodbye,” she said.

Ruairi’s eyes stung with tears. He nodded, making a solemn vow that one day he would return. He didn’t know if he would be able to keep that promise. In this moment, he didn’t know where life was going to take him, but he was glad that Moira hadn’t begged him not to leave.

In fact, none of his family did. They seemed to appreciate that it was something he needed to do in order to find himself. He hated walking away from his duty and his destiny, but for the first time in his life, he felt a flicker of hope. His goodbye with his family was tearful, and although he embraced his father, it felt as though there was much unspoken between them. Ash whinnied and stamped his hooves, protesting Ruairi’s absence. Ruairi rubbed Ash’s mane and could not bear to look the horse in the eye as he turned and left for a port. The Highlands rose behind him, majestic and impressive, but before him, the horizon stretched out endlessly. The world was a blank canvas upon which he could make his mark, and the ocean was a place filled with mystery and adventure, and perhaps a way for Ruairi to redeem himself.