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Prologue

Ruairi stood on the moor, looking out at the sapphire sky. Wisps of clouds drifted by, and the golden sun left streaks trailing in its wake as it made its celestial journey across the horizon. He was a tall man, the spitting image of his father. His face was stern, his beard thick, and his eyes were filled with a storm. He had trained to be the strongest in the clan for all his life, like his uncle Jamie. His chest was broad, his biceps bulged, and his legs were like thick tree trunks that were rooted deep in the ground. He was a man like no other, and yet a deep sadness touched his heart, a sadness that he could never rid himself of.

“What are ye thinking about?” Maura asked gently. She was sitting on the soft grass, her dress billowing out around her. Her hair had been braided, and she glowed with the happiness of a life well-lived. Yes, life had indeed turned out well for his twin sister. They shared similar characteristics; they were both fiery, stubborn, and fierce. And yet Maura had patience and wisdom as well, things Ruairi lacked. She saw the world in a different way than him, and she had ended up being blessed with a loving husband and beautiful children. Maura was radiant with happiness, and her eyes sparkled with the knowledge that she had accomplished so much with her life. Ruairi, on the other hand, was left with a bitter taste in his mouth. They were the same age. They had walked along the same path in life, and yet, while she was happy, he was left wondering where he had gone wrong.

“I was thinking about the clan and the way they look at me,” he said, clenching his jaw after he spoke. His muscles were always rigid with tension. Every step he took seemed as though it was in the wrong direction.

Maura let out a soft sigh and tilted her head. Sympathy was etched over her face, and Ruairi hated that most of all. He wasn’t sure he deserved that. “Ye are nae still thinking of this, are ye? Ruairi, please, ye hae tae move on. The rest of us hae.”

“Hae they?” He looked down at her and spoke sharply. His visage was stern, his face taut like stone. “I see the way they look at me. I hear the way they whisper behind my back. I know they dinnae respect me.”

“That’s nae true, Brother. They all dae, especially wee John. He thinks the world of ye.”

“That’s because he doesnae know what I did, what his ma haed tae sacrifice because of my mistake,” Ruairi spoke quietly, the words tumbling out of his heart.

“That was a long time ago,” Maura said. “People hae forgotten.”

“I hae nae.” Ruairi’s eyes flashed like a sword that caught the light of the sun. “Because of me, ye haed tae marry a man ye didnae know, and ye might well hae died. I always thought I was the strongest, that I was the warrior, but it’s been ye, Maura. I’m just… I’m just a boy,” he said, hanging his head.

The memories were still strong in his mind. That fateful night he had been a reckless youth, eager to win honor and glory for himself in battle. His father, Niall, had spoken about caution when the clan received word that bandits were attacking villages around the Highlands. Ruairi hadn’t wanted to leave them to attack others—at least, that was a part of it. He also wanted to throw himself in a fight and prove his prowess in battle. As he was investigating the attack, he came across strangers, and he leaped into battle, assuming that they were the enemy. His sword sang as it dealt death, but he hadn’t been fighting bandits at all. Instead, he had killed the son of a rival clan, and the threat of war had soon followed. It was only because Maura had taken matters into her own hands and offered herself as a bride to bring the clans together that peace had been able to triumph. The matter had been settled after a secret plot had been revealed, and Ruairi had fared well in battle, but it could not undo the initial mistake he had made. An innocent man had died because he stampeded into battle like a wild animal, and nothing could bring him back.

“I always thought I would be the hero, Maura, but ye are. I’m just the villain.”

“Ye are nae a villain, Ruairi,” Maura said, her voice tinged with desperation. “Ye are a wonderful man, and ye can grow intae a laird one day. Ye made a mistake, that’s all. Everybody makes mistakes. All we can dae is learn from them and grow intae better people.”

“My mistake cost a man his life,” Ruairi said.

Maura was quiet in reply to that. She took a few moments to respond. Their horses were grazing on the grass nearby. Scone and Ash had been with them since they were young. Now the horses were older, but they were still powerful. A soft breeze tugged at the blades of grass and the flowers nearby, making them sway. It caught the auburn hair that flowed down Ruairi’s arms as well, making small bumps rise on his flesh.

“Neither of us covered ourselves in glory, Ruairi. We both made mistakes. I should nae hae ran off recklessly either. I was just lucky that it worked out for the best. But ye hae all yer life ahead of ye. Oh, Ruairi. I hate seeing ye like this. I think back tae when we were children, running about these fields without a care in the world. I want ye tae be like that again.”

“I cannae be,” he said dryly. “I hae suffered tae much for that. Life is never gaeing tae be that simple again. How can I be laird when nobody respects me? Nae even Da…”

“Da does respect ye,” Maura protested.

“He pretends he does, but I can see in his eyes that I’m nae the man he wanted me tae be. I know he wishes I was more like ye.”

“Well, that would be an improvement,” Maura said with a twinkle in her eye. A teasing smile curled her lips, but Ruairi was not amused. Maura rose from the ground and walked up to him, clasping his head. “Ruairi, ye cannae live yer life like this. This is yer home. This is where ye belong. Ye hae always been destined tae lead this clan, ye just need tae take the steps tae this destiny. If ye always think of the past, then ye are gaeing tae be lost. If people dinnae respect ye, it’s probably because they don’t like seeing ye brood all the time,” she said gently, but Ruairi could only sigh. There was something wrong inside him, something missing, and he wasn’t quite sure how to fix himself.

Whenever Ruairi closed his eyes, he saw that battle again, that moment in time when everything had changed forever. He often wondered how things would have turned out differently if he had just stayed his hand. While Maura had found love and happiness with Kevan McGrory, that was only a matter of luck. It could so easily have ended badly for her.

Ruairi saw John’s face staring back at him from oblivion. A life had been taken. Before then, Ruairi had hunted animals, but never taken a man’s life. The heat of battle had made it easy, but afterward, when he’d learned what he’d done…it was as though his heart had been replaced by a stone. John had done nothing to deserve death. Ruairi had taken away everything that man was, and everything he was ever going to be, all because he hadn’t been careful enough to think about what he was doing. He had no qualms with killing for a righteous cause—that was a warrior’s role, after all—but he had always been taught that a warrior had to be careful with his blade. And as these years had passed, he didn’t believe he had received the proper punishment for his actions. Maura had borne the brunt of that. She was the one who had found the solution to the situation while he sat on the sidelines and watched everything be made right again. How was he supposed to lead the clan when he ruined everything he touched?

He walked through the castle back to his chambers. He passed a room, and could hear his father and mother talking gently inside. A pang of guilt struck his heart, for he knew he was not the son they wanted. He tried to spend as little time as possible with his parents, as he hated to see the disappointment in their eyes, so he moved on quickly, but his parents had noticed him, and Niall called him in.

His parents had grown old and happy over the years. They bore their ages well, with dignity and pride. Moira’s beauty was one of comfort and happiness, as though she had found her place in the world, and she was entirely content with it.

“Ruairi, please, join us,” Niall said, and offered him some wine. Ruairi took it and sipped. The wine was sweet and warm, as red as blood. His mother set aside her needlework. Niall gestured to a chair, which Ruairi took.

“I was just about tae rest for the night,” Ruairi said.

“Aye, well, we will nae keep ye long. We thought it’s time tae discuss the future,” Niall said.

Ruairi’s stomach turned. There had been a number of occasions when Niall had tried to discuss this with him, but every time, it made Ruairi uncomfortable. “Da…”

Niall held up a hand to silence Ruairi’s protests. “We need tae talk about this sooner or later. I am nae gaeing tae be around forever, and it is customary for the laird tae take a step back when his son comes of age. But we are gaeing tae hae tae find ye a wife as well sae ye can continue the family line. I hae taken the liberty of making a few inquiries, and there are some interesting possibilities. We can start arranging meetings with them soon.”

Ruairi’s throat dried, the kind of dryness that no wine could extinguish. He tapped his finger against the chair and gnawed his lower lip. “Da, I just dinnae think I’m ready,” he said.