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Ian awoke with a start at the loud noise. As soon as he saw that Ainsly was awake, a smile spread across his face, and relief swept through his heart. All his prayers had been answered, and the fears that lurked in his mind had been dispelled. Then she told him she was sorry, and he realized that fear swam in her eyes. She was still pale, and it would take her a while to recover from this type of injury, but at least she would recover. He was overjoyed that he wouldn’t have to mourn her, and yet there were still matters that needed to be addressed.
“I’m sorry,” she said. The smile receded from Ian’s lips, and he shifted his position on the chair, leaning forward. He tilted his head from side to side to work through a crick in his neck before he picked up the mug that had fallen on the floor. The water had spilled and ran towards the door like a flowing river. He picked up the jug beside it and refilled it, holding it out to Ainsly. She took it in two hands and lifted it to her mouth gingerly, taking small sips.
“What dae ye hae tae be sorry about, lass?” he asked, trying to sound as casual as possible even though he knew. Ainsly’s head dropped, and she exhaled deeply.
“I knew about the plot against ye, Ian. I knew from day one. I tried tae delay it. I tried tae stop it, but they wouldnae listen and I…I was afraid tae tell ye lest ye hate me. I hoped that ye wouldnae gae, but then ye did and I…I couldnae bear it. I haed tae stop it. I couldnae bear tae see ye die.” Her voice cracked with emotion, and she started to choke on her words. Ian listened intently and calmly. The anger that had flowed within him had calmed since he had been sitting by her bedside, and her presence made him calmer anyway.
“Ye haed every right tae plot against me, lass. I came in and took yer home, claimed ye as my wife without giving ye much of a choice. I can see why ye hated me. When I look back at the way I acted, I even hate myself in a way. I didnae realize how cruel I was. I saw it as something that haed tae be done, but now that I live here, I realize that I was wrong. Living out in the wilderness...it can change a man. Ye become as wild as the land itself, and ye forget what it’s like tae live in a civilized place.”
“I should hae told ye, though. Believe me, Ian, I never wanted ye tae die.”
Ian smiled. “Aye, ye should hae told me.”
“Ye must hate me. I can never make it up tae ye,” Ainsly said forlornly, casting her gaze down to her mug of water.
“What are ye talking about?” Ian’s words rode a wave of laughter. “Ye took an arrow for me! Ye almost died! Ye threw yerself in front of certain death for me. I cannae think of anything ye need tae make up for. If anything, I owe ye my life.”
“Then, can ye forgive me?” Ainsly asked, lifting her gaze. Her words were filled with hope. Ian took a moment to breathe in her beauty before he answered.
“Aye, lass, I think I can just about manage that. But I dinnae want anything like this tae happen again. Are there any other secrets ye hae been hiding from me?”
Ainsly blushed. “Only that I love ye.”
“That wasnae a secret, lass. Did ye forget that ye told me that with yer last breath, or what ye thought was yer last breath?”
“I know…I just thought ye might like tae hear it again.”
“That I dae, lass. I will never get tired of hearing that, although, in truth, I was beginning tae suspect that ye might be feeling something along those lines. I could see it there, deep in yer eyes.” He pointed to her face and smiled widely, making her laugh. As she did so, the color returned to her cheeks and ringlets of hair bobbed against her shoulders and chest, although as she laughed, she winced a little. Concern flickered across Ian’s face.
“Ye should take it easy. It’s gaeing tae take ye a wee while tae recover.”
“Aye,” she sighed. “I’m gaeing tae start looking like ye.” She wore a teasing smile on her face, and Ian laughed. It was good to know that she had her sense of humor back.
“Ye hae a way tae gae before that happens,” he said.
Their humor faded, and a moment of silence lingered between them before Ainsly spoke again. This time her words were as sweet as summer’s wine.
“I know I told ye that I loved ye when I was shot, but there was more I wanted tae say…much more,” she began. Ian arched an eyebrow, imploring her to continue. “I know things hae nae been easy between us. At first, I hated ye for what ye did tae the clan, but as I got tae know ye more, I realized ye weren’t what I expected at all. The way ye spoke about plans for the future…it struck my heart, and I knew that ye cared about making a home, and when ye started tae talk about a family…”
“Aye?” Ian nudged her to continue. She laughed a little and smiled shyly.
“I hae tae admit I liked the thought of it. For sae long, I was focused on being the laird that I didnae think about my own future. Time was slipping away, and I just let it. I suppose I thought that it would happen sooner or later. I forgot that in life, ye hae tae make things happen. When ye talked about a family, I didn’t realize how much I wanted it. I want tae raise children tae inherit the clan and continue the work that we dae taegether. I want tae see this clan grow, and I know that ye want the same. I want an end tae the violence and the struggle. I want tae put the past behind us and live as well as we can while we can.”
“Aye, I want that tae. And we can hae it all,” he said, although a few more words stuck lodged in his throat. Ainsly looked at him, crinkling her brow.
“But…?” she prompted.
Ian licked his lips before he spoke. “But…we cannae ignore what happened here taeday. Ainsly, we cannae let people think it’s right tae rebel. We hae tae put forward a united front and show that we are willing tae work taegether. That is the message we hae tae give tae people. I think that’ll be clearer given what ye did for me, but we still need tae show them that things like this wilnae be tolerated. We cannae let this land become lawless.”
Ainsly’s face fell, and he knew that she was aware of exactly what he was talking about.
“Where are Seamus and Calum?” she asked in a small voice.
“In the dungeons. Ye are fortunate I didnae kill Seamus when I realized he was the one who shot ye. He said that ye were old friends and that ye would never hae forgiven me if I killed him.”
“I used tae play with him as a child. I’ve known him all my life. Before all this happened I considered him a dearest friend but now…I dinnae know if I can trust him again. He didnae listen tae me when I told him nae tae attack. I thought I knew him, but we seem tae be different people.”