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Hal looked at him and then sighed, tilting his head back and muttering something Jed couldn’t hear.

“You need to go back and do that, my friend. Okay? And if he still leaves, you can come back here, and I’ll let you get drunk and sleep it out in my guest room.”

“It’s not going to work.” That sounded pretty petulant, but Jed wanted to hear Hal tell him that it would work, that Remy still had heart eyes and that anyone looking at the two of them could see they’d be together forever.

Hal didn’t say that, though. He just said, “You won’t know if you don’t try. Now, stop being such a stubborn fool and let me go back to my wife and kids.”

He stood, offered Jed a hand to help him up out of the chair, and then pulled Jed into a real hug. “Whatever happens, you deserve to be happy as much as Remy does. Remember that.”

Jed’s throat tightened up, and his eyes were hot, and he didn’t know what to do with those feelings, so he didn’t say anything. Just patted Hal on the back and then climbed in his car to head home.

Tell him what you actually want. Hal’s words looped through his head on the drive home. What did he actually want? He wanted to be with Remy, in his house on the mountain.

But he thought he also probably wanted to be with Remy in New Jersey or Pittsburgh or Vancouver or Los Angeles or wherever Remy ended up playing. He wanted Remy’s smile and his smoothies and his touches and his eagerness, for as long as he was willing. That’s what he needed to find a way to say.

The house was silent when Jed let himself in, so silent he wondered if maybe he’d missed his chance and Remy had finished packing and taken a car to Petey’s. But then Remy’s head popped up over the back of the couch. It looked like he’d fallen asleep.

His hair was mussed, and he had a crease on his cheek, and he looked so fucking kissable, Jed thought he was going to have to leave again. He wanted so badly to fall to his knees and take Remy in his arms and beg him not to go.

“Hey.” Remy looked wary, like he was afraid Jed was angry. “I’m glad you’re back. I don’t want to leave like this. I don’t want to break up, Jed. I just don’t think I can stay here right now.”

Fuck it. Jed couldn’t not go to him when he was honest like that. A few long strides, and he was around the couch, crouching in front of Remy.

“I should have told you.” Jed fumbled for the words as a lightheaded feeling like he was about to jump out of a plane swept over him. “I guess I hoped you knew. I love you so fucking much, Remy. I know you might not feel that way, and that’s okay. But that’s why I don’t want you to go yet. Or if you do go, I want to come, too.”

“Really?” Remy asked, the flush starting to spread over his cheeks.

“Yeah. I should’ve said it before. I’m still not that great at this, I guess.”

“I think you do okay.” Remy smiled. “But, like, are you sure?” And then, before Jed could answer, he added, “I love you, too. I mean, I have for a while now. I just didn’t think I could stand waiting here and not knowing. You know.”

“Not knowing what?” Jed’s head buzzed with Remy’s words. Remy loved him, too. He put a hand on Remy’s cheek, and heat flashed through him as Remy turned his face into Jed’s palm like he couldn’t help himself.

“Whether I get to stay,” Remy said. “Whether I get to keep having you.”

“Those are two different things, though.” Jed took Remy’s hands.

“Are they?” Remy’s eyes were hopeful, and he held on tight.

“Yes. Whether or not you’re still in Colorado next season, I’m yours.” Jed felt like he was teetering on the edge of a cliff, saying it out loud, waiting for Remy to understand what he meant.

“I want to be yours, too. I want that so badly.”

He wasn’t going to fall off the precipice. Remy was right there with him, and they were going to figure it out together. Jed pulled Remy’s head down to rest against his, threaded his fingers through Remy’s hair, and held on tight.

“I know it’s hard to wait, but I also know you’re going to get an offer.”

“It’s so hard. I don’t know how anyone does this.”

“You have to put it out of your mind. The same way you put a bad game out of your mind, babe. Focus on right now, because you can’t control the rest.”

Remy made an impatient noise, and then the next thing Jed knew, Remy had pulled him up and over so that Jed was practically crushing him.

“You say that because you’re a goalie, and that’s, like, what you do. I’m not as good at it as you are.”

“I think you can do it, though,” Jed said, feeling confident enough now to add that touch of command that he usually saved for sex. How could he not, with Remy loving him and pressed against him like that? Jed slid back and pushed up on his elbows, so he could see Remy’s face. “I think you will stay, for a little while. For me. You’ll do that, won’t you?”

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE