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Chapter 4

Ruben

Two days had passed since my escape. My behavior had been silly.

Determined, I picked up my phone and typed.

Hey. Everything okay? How’s beach life?

I sent the message. I regretted it. I wanted to call it back. But Shane shouldn’t know that I had written something and taken it back.

The message was immediately marked as read.

Are you kidding me? You disappear and that’s all you got? How’s beach life?

My stomach twisted into knots.

I typed. And deleted. And typed. And thought. My phone rang and I froze. I let it go to voicemail and finally answered.

I can’t talk right now.

Mhm. Can you at least tell me why you took off without a single word?

With trembling fingers, I wrote my truth as best as I could.

At the party, I realized that this isn’t going to last, that we’re too different. We’re not right for each other. We want different things.

I didn’t write that it would pull the rug out from under my feet to watch myself fall more and more for him while he made out with blond pretty boys.

My phone rang again, and I put it down next to me. I turned around. And burned inside.

Answer my damn call!

All the courage I had mustered a few minutes ago crumbled in the face of those words. His name flashed up on my display again.

I hastily swiped it and pressed the phone to my ear.

“Yes?”

Shane was swearing under his breath at the other end of the line. “Yes? Dammit, Ruben!”

“Sorry!” I muttered into the phone.

Shane grunted something inaudible. “What exactly are you apologizing for?”

“For . . . I don’t want to cause any trouble, but . . . ”

“But?” I had never heard Shane sound that impatient and angry. “Man, everything was fine. Suddenly you take off without a word, without any explanation, without . . . ”

I was trembling. He wasn’t letting me get away with my plan to throw a few words at him and then bury my head in the sand.

“But that’s what I meant. We’re not right for each other.”

Shane barely let me finish. “You know, I should just let it go. And I don’t know why I’m even trying here . . . where did this change of heart come from? Or did you always think that of me and . . . I mean, we never defined anything, but . . . ”

The fire in Shane’s voice died down. We hadn’t defined anything because I thought I could easily let things run their course for as long as possible. We hadn’t talked much. When we weren’t having sex, I’d watch him surf or he’d come by to grab snacks from my kitchen. We philosophized about nonsense like sunrises.

“No, we didn’t, and that’s why it’s okay. But I saw you guys at the party.”