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But there was no sign of him anywhere, and at some point my messages didn’t get through anymore. His phone was off. All was extremely strange. Ever since I’d known him, I’d always been able to reach him.

Through the tiny window of my trailer, I saw the sun rising. I still had some time left before I had to be at the surf school for the first class of the day. I could go out myself. Or see where Ruben had gone into hiding.

Instead of having breakfast, I got dressed and set off in search of him. I didn’t know exactly where to go. Up until now, if he hadn’t slept at my place, he had been with friends or family, who all lived in the area. But I didn’t exactly know where that was.

I wandered aimlessly along the beach and back to the party grounds.

When I returned there, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The food truck was gone.

A few people were already packing up, and I ran frantically to Ryan, who was shuffling over to the bar.

“Hey, what happened to the food truck? Have you seen Ruben today?”

Ryan shrugged. “I just got here. The food truck was already gone by then.” He studied me with furrowed brows. “I’m sorry, Shane.”

This couldn’t be true!

Furious, I checked the surroundings. Was Ruben messing with me? Where was my damn composure when I needed it most?

There had to be an explanation.

I picked up my phone again. My call wasn’t getting through.

Frustrated, I sent Ruben a message.

Where are you? Talk to me!

I turned back to the beach. What had happened since yesterday? Had Ruben changed his mind?

I slowly walked up to the road, across the wooden planks through the dunes, past the beach houses. Now inhabited. Empty in winter.

I knew this neighborhood like the back of my hand. But at that moment, it meant nothing to me.

Before I could turn onto the road to town for some breakfast, a familiar face came toward me. A face I had hoped never to see again.

“Shane. What a coincidence, or maybe not, to see you here. But where there’s a beach, Shane’s not far away. Right?”

“Richard,” I spat. “How unpleasant.”

Richard Dickerson III laughed loudly. I would too, with a name of that kind.

“Shane, Shane. Always talking big. But you don’t have anything to say. Still hanging around on the beach while everyone else is making a career for themselves.”

I was about to punch him. Instead, I remembered the power of words.

“Dick, Dick. Are you letting your colleagues suck your dick in secret as your classmates used to, or have you finally got the balls to admit that you’re gay?”

I didn’t give a damn whether Dick III came out or not. It was his business, but his insults, years after we had been together—secretly—in high school, pissed me off. I hated this snobby asshole who had always despised me to the point that I wished him the worst.

He took a threatening step toward me. “Shut up, you miserable faggot, or I’ll destroy you.”

“Oh yeah, why’s that? Are you afraid your fiancée won’t find it hot that her husband warms the beds of other men?”

Richard swung his arm back and let it drop.

“You’re not worth it. While I live with my fiancée in a penthouse in the city, you haven’t made it out of this shithole. You live the lowest of lowlifes, while everyone around you is achieving something in their lives.”

“Fuck you! At least I don’t have to lie to anyone and I’m at peace with myself,” I shouted over my shoulder to him as I hurried away.

I had wanted to get some coffee and a donut. But the encounter made me lose my appetite.

Was that what Ruben thought of me? That I was hanging around pointlessly and wasting oxygen?

Why did I let that bastard Dick get to me the way he did? Every time we ran into each other, he rubbed it in my face how useless I was.

Normally, I was good at keeping his shit from getting to me. But today it hit hard.

Like a teenager, I had compared myself to Ruben right from the start, ever since we had exchanged our first words. His experience in the world. His successes. I must have come across as a fool who could easily be left behind.

But he had never made me feel that way. It was all in my head. It was Dick III who brought out my insecurities.

I checked my phone again. Ruben would be in touch.