Page 38

I don't know why that one sticks. It's not even about me. I open Maman's text thread and type Tell Papa I'm being careful, and then I delete it, because it isn't true, and because she'd know.

When I come back into the room, Hale's awake. He's sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees, and he's looking at the door like he's been waiting for me to come through it.

"That was loud," he says.

"The ice machine?"

"You."

"Sorry. My dad talks loud. It makes me talk loud."

He nods. He doesn't ask. I sit on my bed, facing him, the gap between us the width of the nightstand.

"You speak French," I say, "don't you. A little."

"No."

"You do. I saw your face. When I said don't give them a reason."

He's quiet. Then he says, "I played two seasons in Quebec. Juniors. Chicoutimi."

"That's not on the wiki."

"It's on the wiki. You didn't read far enough."

"So you understood."

"Some of it."

I pull my knees up and wrap my arms around them. I feel about twelve. "He's not a bad guy. My dad. He's scared for me."

"I know."

"He thinks if I'm careful enough, nobody will hurt me. Like there's a way to be gay that's so quiet nobody notices." I pick at a thread on the knee of my sweatpants. "He said I should be like you."

Hale goes very still.

"Keep my head down," I say. "Seventeen years and nobody ever said a word about you. That's what he said."

He doesn't say anything. He's looking at his hands, the scarred knuckles, the wedding ring he still wears that I've noticed he twists around his finger when he thinks nobody's looking. He's twisting it now.

"Your father's wrong," he says finally.

"About what?"

"About me."

"Which part?"

He looks up. For a second there's something in his face I haven't seen before, something raw and startled, like a window opening in a house I thought was empty. Then it's gone, and he stands up, and he's the captain again.

"Bus is at four-thirty," he says. "Find your other shoe."

"Hale."

"It's under the bed. I saw it this morning."

He goes into the bathroom and shuts the door. I hear the water start running. Not the shower, just the sink, like he needs something to do with his hands.