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The one he uses when he's trying to make something sound like a joke.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don't bullshit me.”

I sit up.

Darcy lifts his head.

“I've seen the way you've been acting around her,” Declan continues. “And she's been weird every time your name comes up.”

Another pause.

Then Bishop says the words I never wanted to hear.

“Nothing's going on, Beckett.”

I stop breathing.

Nothing.

One word.

And suddenly, I'm eighteen again.

Standing outside a room at North Pines.

Listening to Bishop explain why I don't mean anything to him.

Declan exhales. “Good.”

My throat tightens.

“Because she's my sister, Bish.”

“I know who she is.”

“Just making sure we're on the same page.”

“Yeah.”

Their footsteps move away.

I sit there staring at the door.

My phone lights up again.

Ken: You still up?

I turn it face down.

Because I don't know what to say.

And for the first time since moving to Chicago, I'm not sure I want to see him.

Ten minutes later, there's a soft knock.

“Becks?”