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“What we have? What we had...was a friendship, Scarlett.” He spits out.

“Had? Let me guess; she’s making you choose.” I pretend to be shocked and wish he would just go ahead and say it, so I can end this charade.

She proved last night she was strong enough to fight for him, lord knows he will fight to the death for her… so now I let him go and fight for me.

“No, actually. Quite the opposite. She wanted me to give you a second chance. Even after all you subjected her to. Hell, last night alone! But you have yourself to thank for this. It’s you who’s forcing me to choose.” He struggles to keep his calm. I bet he’s pacing around, running his hand through his hair.

“You don’t mean that.” Sadness laces my voice as he finally says the words I’ve known were coming since her plane landed. It doesn’t make them any easier to swallow. “You can’t.”

“I’m sorry Scarlett.” Not as sorry as I am.

My pride and need to be loved have cost me my best friend. I him need to see why I was holding on so tightly to this ideal we could be more. I’ll never know if I can fly without him, my safety net, unless I remove it and take the leap. I was afraid, but I’m not anymore.

But he needs to know, it’s time to say it, all of it and rip the bandage off, once and for all.

“Piers. I love you. I- I thought maybe you felt the same, once upon a time. And I thought with her out of the way, you could finally see it. See me, see an us. But it always comes back to her. Why?” I shock him into silence with my confession, after all this time, even though it’s never been like that with us. I’m sure he’s confused as hell, but for the first time, I’m not.

When Cohen came into my life, it was like a jolt of lighting shocked my heart back to life and made me aware of the emotions that I’m capable of. Made me realize that what I thought I felt for Piers was just… comfort, familiar, secure. But, the woman in me, still needed to ask what the insecure little pixie of a girl needed answered all those years ago.

“I really don’t know why, Scarlett. It’s always been her. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you, sorry if I’ve given you the wrong impression. But with or without Willow, there would never be an us. Your blame is misplaced.” He’s only saying what I’ve already figured out.

Never. Never an us. But for the first time it occurs to me, he could push me out of the business. The thought of not having my job, my work causes bile to rise up in my throat like a geyser of fear.

“What about PAN Industries? BlackHouse? Are you firing me too? Cutting me out of every facet of your life?” My desperation is now transparent, because I can handle being alone… but not without a purpose.

“Of course not. I’m going to take a bit of a leave. Focus on my family, the London Lost and some other endeavors. Things will be business as usual.” I hear what he’s saying, but the words that I hear the loudest are, other endeavors.

“And Anderson’s deal?” I can’t help the quiver in my voice, I knew he would be angry and push me away. He chose her years ago… but I never imagined my paranoia and insecurities would affect our friendship and now the office.

Stupid, stupid girl. What did you think would happen? I hear my mother’s voice in my head as take a seat at the table.

“You can handle it; you said so yourself. It’s been your baby from the start. I’ll be checking in from time to time, but I think it’s better if we don’t work so closely together...for a while.” Silence hangs heavy on the line, as more tears fall. But this time they aren’t so silent.

“Piers. Please, don’t. Don’t do this to me.” I’m ashamed but I find myself begging. This played out exactly like I thought it would, but getting what you want, isn’t always what you need. I still need him, even if he doesn’t need me. Doesn’t love me. He’s my family.

“Scarlett, I’m sorry. I’ll be in touch. Let’s just take some time.” He sighs and his apology cuts me to the quick, because I know Piers is loyal to a fault and I’ve done this, handle this all wrong. Put him in this position.

“I’ll apologize to Willow. I’ll fix it,” I offer, swallowing my pride like a bitter bill.

“It’s not that simple.” He explains.

“I have no one else,” My voice breaks and I mumble out loud. I thought maybe Cohen felt something to, but I woke up to an empty bed. Regardless, his presence in my life, however brief gave me the push I needed.

“I have always been there for you, and I thought you were there for me too. But lying to me after Willow left, not telling me she called. Making her think I was with you. Putting me on the phone pissed out of my ever loving mind, letting me tell her that I had forgotten her...when you knew I had been searching for her. That I was lost without her.” I gasp, stunned into silence by his accusation. “You contributed to me losing out on five long years with my son. So, I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a little time while I sort all this out in my mind.” He keeps talking, while my mind tries to process everything including the shame for the things I did, and the hurt for the things I didn’t.

“I didn’t know,” I whisper, as my heart falls to the floor and flops like a fish out of water. “I swear I didn’t know that’s why she was calling.” He has to believe me.

“Scarlett, I know you can’t see it now. But what we have, isn’t what you think it is. It’s love, the same love I have for Theo. It’s because we were all we had...for so long, a family unit. I’m sorry that my keeping you so close all these years possibly hindered you from finding the other kind of love. But there is another kind, and it’s all consuming, and it doesn’t go away over time or fade across the miles. I hope you find that love, Scarlett. You deserve it. We all do.” His voice waivers, and I know what he’s saying is true. Because after last night, I felt what more feels like. And now he’s gone too.

“Goodbye, Piers.” I end the call, unable to hear anymore tonight.

Standing, I walk to my room. The aspirin now unnecessary, because numbness is spreading thought my body from the center of my chest like a plague.

Climbing in to bed, I grab a pillow and hold onto it tightly, wishing it could hug me back.

I often feel like a puzzle because my broken pieces get ripped apart and scattered only to be put back together… so many times when people look at me, they see all my ugly and broken pieces, but they miss the real beauty, the seams running between the mosaic. That evidence that I put myself back together. My beautifully broken and perfectly imperfect.

More tears fall as I grieve for a chapter of my life that is now over. This is not the happily ever after I planned on, but I gave up on fairytales a long time ago I’ll allow myself this one last night to wallow in my misery.