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Chapter Nineteen

Scarlett

I awake to find the bed next to me empty. If not for the ache between my legs, I could almost believe it had been a dream. He’s gone.

My hand brushes the cool sheet, once warmed by his body, now as cold as the heart that beats inside his perfectly sculpted chest. Arctic. It’s not that I expected him stay, men like him never do but for the first time I wanted someone to stay. Far too long my heart had been wrapped up in someone unavailable. I was fine to wait, occupying my time by letting men worship my body while showering me with gifts. I even had a little black book of profitable conquests. But I had changed. And I thought he was different too. Turns out I was wrong.

Some deals were made in the boardroom and others in the bedroom...that’s where I came in. Yet, the one I wanted to be conquered by for so long was oblivious to my desires. I was nothing more than a childhood friend. Then I met Cohen and it was a like a switch was flipped that filled me with light, fire… but he left me too. I need to shake this fog from my head and think fast because I’m not used to scrambling, I’m used to being two steps ahead. Until now.

Until him, and the day my world went black.

Reaching down on the floor I pick up my platinum silk robe, slipping it on as I roll out of bed. I walk to my bathroom and step in front of the mirror. The white marble surrounding me is a contrast to the darkness I feel inside. Last night wasn’t what I thought, maybe to me, but obviously not him. I let my robe drop on one side, exposing a bite mark on my shoulder and bruising along my collarbone. Usually it pisses me off when they mark me but seeing the evidence he left on my skin only turns me on. Heat pools between my legs as I remember our encounter. Letting my robe fall completely, I run my fingers over my body, reliving each touch.

His aggression during sex was something I was used to, his intensity was something else entirely. It appears I have met my match. He has no idea who he is dealing with.

Turning on the water, I let steam fill up the room.

I shower even though I’m hesitant to wash him from my body. My head is pounding from the wine consumption and lack of sleep.

The hot spray runs down my body, and the scent of Bulgarian rose swirls around me as I scrub away the night before. Washing away the scent of a man is nothing new.

But standing here, skin turning red from the heat of the spray, I realize I’m more alone than I’ve ever been. Silent tears roll down my cheeks as quiet sobs rack my body.

It seems like with Cohen there is always this push and pull. We keep finding ourselves running into one another. And I get the sense he’s not looking for anything either.

But it’s like we both found something, where there should have been nothing. We found it where it wasn’t supposed to be. I know I’m easily spooked, and I like to be the one to walk away. It’s the main reason for my never bring guys home rule. But I wanted him to stay. I brought him here, to my safe place. But it seems like I’m not safe from him, no matter where I go.

After my soul cleansing shower, I decide there is only looking forward. No more backwards. I see I missed a call and several messages from Piers. The crazy thing is, my mind was so focused on my night with Cohen that I didn’t even think to check my phone.

Walking to the kitchen for a bottle of water and some more aspirin, I ring him back only to be directed to voice mail. Whatever.

Dropping the phone on the work top I turn to leave the room, just as it rings again.

Taking my time, I reach the phone and sure enough it’s him.

“Piers.” My voice flat. I’m sure he’s calling to defend Willow’s honor. I may have been a bit out of line last night. There is really no excuse for my behavior. But if I was going to make one, it would involve wine, flashbacks, stress and jealousy. But I don’t have a chance, he jumps right in.

“Why?” He demands.

“Why what?” I huff out, defensively. “Why tell your precious Willow the truth? Why ask her about the loophole that you lied about? Why say I knew about her children’s books? Why admit I picked out her mask? Why point out she can’t make you happy, be what you need? Take your pick.” I rattle off, sounding annoyed, even though I know he’s right. My pride keeps digging me deeper, but these are words that have been bottled up for so long and I can’t stop them. I really just want to go back in time, ignore her and leave the Gala with Cohen, instead I find myself saying all the things I was always afraid to say.

I wish I were in the cocoon of Cohen’s arms, and the alternate universe I fall into whenever he is near. But I can’t. He’s gone.

And I’m here alone. Always alone.

Fifteen years of emotions have bubbled to the surface and refused to by pushed back down. So out of my mouth the anger and jealousy flows like molten lava, burning everyone in its path including me.

What’s done is done, and I can hear everything Piers isn’t saying, and I know he’s about to push me away for good. It’s what I deserve for harboring this misguided hatred for so long. So I make it easy for him and give him the ammunition he needs.

“Because she can’t...regardless if you agree, it’s the truth.” I continue, lowering my voice, knowing its only jealousy talking. Not envy that he wants her so much, just jealousy that no one has ever wanted me that way. That much.

“Scarlett, you’re really not giving me much choice here.” He sighs and tears prick my eyes.

“I’m surprised she’s even letting you call me. I’d be jealous too if I was her. She sees what we have Piers.” The more I talk, the angrier he gets and the hotter the salty tears burn on my cheeks.

I keep pushing until he pushes back, because I think deep down I’ve always known I would never walk away, so I need him to be the one to.

But Piers, being Piers is good to the core. He’s making this so much harder than I thought that it would be.