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Beric wouldn’t betray me. If anything is going to be right in this world, it’ll be him.
I grabbed hold of the railing, using it to pull myself up to the top of the ramp Eliza had created. And, as she hadn’t changed the shape of the halls yet, I found the guiding stone and made my way through the halls as best as I could remember. I forced myself to be patient, despite my frustration—I should’ve taken the time to learn in the first place, rather than following people down these halls without a care.
But that was all part of their plan, wasn’t it? It was clear this was all the king’s doing. Eliza was indeed a spy. She had manipulated everything on his behalf to keep me trapped. Faline and Albert were innocent, I was sure, and yet I knew I had to keep them at arm’s length if I could—anything I told them would get back to the king, whether they intended to hurt me or not.
For now, all I had was Beric.
I found an open door and rushed inside, relieved to see Beric leaning against the wall furthest from me. I locked the door behind me, in case Eliza decided to interrupt.
“You changed your clothes,” I said, as soon as I turned to him. It was the first thing I noticed—that he had on a different shirt. That perhaps he was trying to hide the bloodstains from when he carried out the king’s request.…
Except he always wore black. There wouldn’t be any clear proof to see.
He didn’t do it, Cali. He would never …
“You should be with the other ladies,” he said, his voice tense, his arms folded tightly.
“I didn’t see the point in waiting. Albert told me what happened.”
“Then you’ll forgive me for asking you to leave.”
I froze at his words. How could he respond to me that way? So dismissive. Cold.
“Why did you not come to me, to let me know you’re all right, as soon as you returned?” I asked, my voice tight. I stormed up to him and grabbed hold of his crossed forearms. But he wouldn’t release the tight hold he had on himself, not even to grasp my hand, and it crushed me. “It must have been horrifying to watch the king carry out such an unfair sentence.”
Beric paused, his eyes slightly narrowed. “You said Albert told you what happened.”
“Yes, that the king followed through on his threat.”
“Is that all he said?”
And suddenly, the truth I’d been pretending—hoping, praying—didn’t exist could no longer be ignored.
I stepped away from Beric, and he seemed to immediately understand the gesture. His gaze shifted from where my feet had settled to my eyes, and for the first time since the audition, I saw what everyone else at court saw in his cold gaze—a cruel killer.
He is truly terrifying when left to his own devices.
I’ve created a monster.…
“I won’t hurt you, Cali,” he murmured, and I took a few more steps back.
“I know.”
But I didn’t know. And I didn’t sound convincing, not even to myself.
“I only did what I had to, to protect you,” he said. “You understand that, don’t you?”
“You killed a man in cold blood, Beric.” I shook my head, over and over, as if that would help me think straight. “No, I don’t understand it. Not at all.”
“If I hadn’t, the king would’ve done it himself. He would’ve lost trust in me, revoked my privileges. I can only protect you because my hand is in everything his hand would ruin—”
“I don’t need your protection,” I snapped, “nor do I want it.”
He walked toward me, and I stumbled back, colliding with the door—the same one I had foolishly bolted. He halted, as if knowing coming closer was a poor idea. He stared at me, but his gaze wasn’t angry.
He just looked … sad.
“Please don’t act as if I’m some villain,” he said, pain edging his voice, “as if you’ve never met the king before—”