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He paused, looking at me. “Kat briefly brought up the topic of sending her home. If we leave out the fact that she’s seen The Dark, I don’t foresee any issue in following that plan.”
“Home?” My heart dropped. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just let them do what they wished with my vile cousin, but the whole ordeal made me anxious. “Could she not stay here, at court?”
“She doesn’t belong here.”
“She’s a lady of good breeding and training. She’s—” A knight. But of course I couldn’t say that—I wasn’t sure what the consequences of lying to Deus Rex himself were, but I imagined they didn’t end happily for either of us.
Beric narrowed his eyes slightly. “If the rumors about her are true, she is absolutely not fit for court.”
“If you liked me at all you would not say such things.” My face burned hot. So, the nobility were talking. They must have seen her with the duke. “And who are you, that you’re qualified to judge?”
“If she is a squire and of the nobility, as you say,” he said, with a slow emphasis that made me realize my lying to him had been in vain, “then, yes. I am qualified to judge.”
He knew Ann wasn’t a squire—who was I kidding? A child could have figured that out, and he’d already indicated as much before. And if he had heard all the correct gossip, he knew about my aunt as well, and her failed attempts to snag a noble husband. It was clear what my cousin’s motives were, and even more clear that he was right: She didn’t belong here. At least on the outside there was no logical reason, but I knew the truth. I couldn’t risk her wrath. If her chances were ruined, even if it wasn’t my doing, she would stop at nothing to make sure I never worked as a knight again.
“If it would ease your conscience,” Beric continued, “you may tell me what she’s holding over you so that I may deal with it for you.”
“Why do you always assume treachery?” I snapped, annoyed. “She holds nothing.”
“It’s clear she does, judging by the way she bullies you.”
“Don’t all cousins?”
“I wouldn’t know.”
We stood there in silence, while I stubbornly glared at him, grasping at straws in order to defend a woman who so bitterly hated me. This was all so stupid, but it felt too late to end it. I had already lied to the king, the queen, the Royal Squire, the princess. I was in too deep. “Am I not your knight?”
“You are, my lady.”
“Well then?”
“I’m performing my sworn duty.”
I scoffed. “Which is? Not taking orders, clearly.”
He suddenly approached. The quick movement startled me, and I backed into one of the trunks of the flesh-consuming trees, just in time for him to lean close and whisper, “You do know that lying to the king is a treason punishable by death.”
I froze. “You mean to blackmail me?”
“I mean to protect you. If your cousin leaves now, no one will be the wiser, and I will look the other way at the fact that she almost got you killed.”
“But she’ll … she’ll tell.”
“And what of it? You are one of the king’s wives, now. His knight. Whatever this secret is will mean nothing if the king commands it.”
“He already doesn’t like me.”
“He does like you,” said Beric, but when I raised my brows, he amended it to, “he doesn’t dislike you. But he’s also two hundred years old—he’s beyond liking people the way the rest of us do.” Beric paused, taking me in. “Will you truly not tell me?”
My heart pounded. “I fear you’ll hate me.”
“I’m an orphaned immigrant,” said Beric, “without noble blood. And the king made me his Royal Squire, strategist, and a lord. A mere step beneath the authority of the queen.” He looked at me expectantly. “As I said, whatever your secret is, it means nothing. Not here. Not to me.”
“Beric, I—” Words fled as I looked at him, still so very close to me. “I—”
“Lady Cali!”
We looked up to see a guard running toward us. I felt myself blush as Beric shifted a bit to put himself in front of me. He was undoubtedly the most attractive boy I’d ever seen, making it very hard to concentrate on what the guard said as he came closer. Beric’s hand moving to my back, moving me along quickly, was the only clue I had that something might be wrong.
