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I froze. I’d never even considered that possibility.

“I don’t want you to be punished,” I said, quickly.

“Well,” he said, with a careless shrug, “this is your cousin’s doing, not mine.”

Right. We were still pretending Anise was my squire. I hesitated. I don’t know why stopping Beric from being punished had been such an easy choice. But if he adjusted my armor, who would get the credit? Certainly not my cousin, whom the king hadn’t even met.

Beric stepped closer, his warm presence startling me. “I don’t know what sort of agreement you and your cousin have come to. I don’t care. I am your sworn protector, and I will not allow you to sabotage yourself for the benefit of the undeserving.”

My protector. Such a romantic term for the boy I was trying so desperately to hate. And he was right. I was sabotaging everything I’d ever wanted, all for the sake of my ungrateful cousin’s happiness. She hadn’t won the position. I had. She wouldn’t be here at all if it hadn’t been for me. And when had she ever done anything half as selfless as that for me?

Beric stepped closer, and touched the armor at my shoulder, as if testing whether or not I would protest. When I didn’t, he immediately set to work. He worked quickly, skillfully. Some of the armor he could simply adjust, other pieces he had to remove completely and attach in other places. The bits Anise had “helped” me with were particularly tangled. Thankfully I hadn’t forgotten any pieces; they were just arranged desperately wrong.

And it was so … so lovely. So very lovely to have someone take care of me in a way no one ever had. To care about the smallest things so I wouldn’t have to.

Because to be honest, I did want to look my best for the king. I couldn’t afford to give him another reason to hate me.

Beric circled me, examining his work.

“Am I pretty?” I asked, a note of teasing slipping out.

He grinned the smallest bit. “Very pretty,” he murmured.

It didn’t sound like teasing when he said it though … and the very idea made me blush.

Beric held out his hand and I took it, only gently enough to balance myself as I stepped into the open carriage. He stepped up beside me and reattached my cape. I felt a bit ashamed of my behavior toward him, but he wasn’t bringing it up, so I didn’t either.

“It won’t be moving very quickly,” he said, carefully fitting my helmet over the wedding hair Faline had so meticulously pinned. “But make sure you hold on, and don’t lean backward. There’s nothing behind to catch you should you fall off.”

“Has any knight ever fallen?” I asked.

“According to one of the journals I read,” he said, stepping down from the chariot, “yes.”

I let out a long breath, trying to rid myself of nerves. “Well, thank you for that, Beric.”

He nodded, seemingly disregarding my sarcasm. “Are you ready?”

“Am I really to go alone?” I asked, suddenly nervous all over again.

“It’s you the people want to see. And Eliza and Faline will meet you on the other side.”

“And you?”

“At the reception.” Beric gave me a studying look. “Marrying the king is the highest honor. Just think, would you rather be back home in your uncle’s house, with one of those knights you beat out from the audition taking your place?”

That made me chuckle a bit, at least. “Absolutely not.” But I’d barely finished my sentence before I crumbled into tears.

I was crying at my own wedding, and they were by no means tears of happiness. I had never been so terrified to get exactly what I wanted. Well, not exactly—not marriage to an ancient stranger who hated me. Not having to deal with and defend my cousin. But to be a knight, and one with so much freedom and opportunity … it would be worth it, wouldn’t it?

Beric removed my helmet, not bothering to fish out his handkerchief but wiping my tears with his rough thumb and the backs of his fingers.

“Must I marry him?” I murmured, wanting more than anything to just stay here, with Beric’s warm hands comforting me.

“Yes, my lady.”

I wrung my hands, pulled at my dress, letting out my emotion however I could other than tears. Beric stilled my hands, and I felt them trembling beneath his.

“I can’t do this,” I begged.