Page 35
Part of me felt sick at his words. Everything would have been so much easier if I had just left my cousin in that alleyway. Maybe she would have given me away, but by then I would have been the king’s knight—my word would have meant far more than hers.
Yet in spite of everything, I did care for my cousin. I could help her find a better life than she would have ever had with my aunt and uncle, despite their good intentions. All I had to do was keep pretending for a little while longer. Ask the king for a good match for her, and he would betroth her to someone noble. And then we could go our separate ways, and I could live the life I wanted without guilt.
But then, Anise had never let me be happy in the past, why would now be any different? Truly, what am I doing?
I took a breath to steady myself, glaring up at him. “You have stalled my wedding for long enough. Unhand me.”
“Gladly,” he said. “Provided you don’t take another step until I make you presentable.”
“I can’t tell if that’s a threat or an insult.”
“It is whatever urges you to heed me, my lady.”
I gaped, my heart pounding. “I am your knight. The king’s knight. You will unhand me. Now.”
He did so, but by the time I’d taken a step, his arm was around my waist dragging me back again.
“I did warn you,” he said, removing my cape with one hand as he held me—not gently, but somehow carefully enough not to let it catch on the twisted armor on my back. I don’t know why, but I felt as if he were about to strip me naked, as if this were a bedding ceremony, and Beric would make me his before I ever uttered the words I do.
Where did that thought even come from, Cali?
I quickly buried the idea where I could forget I’d ever thought anything so inappropriate about anyone, let alone my own squire.
I backed away from his grasp, watching in frustration as he draped my cape on the seatless chariot. Only my frustration was confused, because I didn’t know who I was angrier with now—Beric, Anise,… or myself.
When he tried to approach me, I hummed quietly to throw up a small shield—just long enough so he’d bump into it and know I meant business. But I felt my magic, and then I felt it shut out, like a clogged spout. There was a moment of heaviness in my chest, where my magic would normally feel light and airy. Beric was able to approach me, no shield impeding him, and it wasn’t until he got closer that I heard the low hum he made in his throat.
When he’d amplified my magic in the audition, I’d thought nothing of it. But to see how skilled he was at dampening it? It was a wonder he hadn’t overthrown the king and taken the power for himself, with magic like that.
Of course, all of England would be doomed if he did, but that was beside the point.
I stopped attempting magic just so he would. He waved the blue smoke of his magic out of his face.
For a moment, I faltered. “How dare you use your magic against me?”
“You used yours first,” he said, stepping closer. “I’ve never met someone so determined to fight off the one person trying to make her life easier.”
“Perhaps I’d be more inclined to accept your help if you didn’t behave so officiously.”
Beric lowered his brows. “You seek a different word, my lady.”
“I don’t think I do, my lord,” I said, barely containing my impatience and irritation.
“It implies I am domineering, which I am not, and that the matter of your armor is trivial, which it is certainly not.”
“You don’t consider grabbing me as you did, giving me no other option, to be domineering?”
“I did give you another option. Believe it or not, if you’d simply allowed me to perform my duty in the first place, you wouldn’t be throwing a fit right now.”
It was so odd how often interacting with this infuriating boy simply made me want to scream. “God, you’re adorable!”
I bit my lip at my mistake, blushing to the point I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as the edge of Beric’s mouth twitched upward the barest bit.
“Deplorable,” I corrected, with waned conviction.
Beric let out a breath of laughter and looked down for so long, I wanted to take all my awful words back. I wanted to make sure I hadn’t hurt him. Protecting my cousin had turned me into something I never thought I would be.
“I didn’t want it to come to this—it feels so manipulative to say,” he said, raising his eyes to meet mine. “But if you go out there and anyone notices, and brings the news to the king … whoever is responsible for it will be punished.”