Page 99

“It feels like a gift, this time that we’ve had together this week.” Jonathan squeezed her hand briefly, then drew his back. “I don’t know how else to describe it.”

“I agree. It was sort of magical.” The words felt stuck in Phoebe’s throat. Something about using the past tense was making her feel all wrong.

“It’s incredible how it felt like no time had passed. Like eight years was just a little bump in the road, but we’re really still us.”

Phoebe nodded. She slurped down the last of her latte, wishing she had more. She needed liquid courage for whatever this conversation was turning out to be.

“Do you want another?” She pointed to Jonathan’s empty cup. He shook his head. She tried not to view this as a sign that they were not, in fact, aligned. This was good. If Jonathan wanted this to be no strings attached, just a vehicle for closure, then that suited Phoebe fine. It was the best of both worlds.

When she returned to the table with a fresh latte, Jonathan looked lost in thought. She decided to take advantage of this and get in a word of her own.

“Jonathan, I didn’t really think this through last night. It was so…” She searched for a word that was meaningful enough. “Beautiful. But if I’m understanding you—if we can keep going with the business plan—that would be really great. Because you know how much I need this, and the timing feels so—”

“Phoebe,” he interrupted her. “You can have it all.”

“What?”

“The proposal. The idea. I know you can do it on your own. I know a guy who I was going to reach out to for funding—he does small projects like this, mostly. I’ll introduce you to him. You’ll be great.”

“Wait, why? I don’t understand.”

Jonathan looked at her with that same wistful smile. This time, she wanted to shake him like a human Etch A Sketch until his face went back to normal.

“What are you talking about?” Phoebe pressed. “I don’t want to do it without you. I thought you were saying we could…” She waved a hand vaguely. “You know.”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“But why?”

“A few reasons. But most importantly, you don’t need me.” He held her hand again and looked into her eyes like he was trying to tell her something important. “You can do this on your own. It’s time for you to realize your true potential. No more doubting yourself, Phoebe. You can do this.”

Phoebe didn’t know where she had wanted this conversation to go, but this was definitely not it.

“But I do need you.”

He let go of her hand. He chuckled sadly, almost to himself, turning to gaze out the window. Outside, a couple walked by, both staring down at their phones. Phoebe felt an edge of panic. Jonathan was slipping away from her. Why was this happening?

“Jonathan, please. I want to do this together. I need your brain. You’re so good with the SEO stuff, and you have more connections than me, and I wouldn’t be doing this at all if I thought it was just going to be me—”

He stood up. She grabbed for his arm, feeling raw and desperate but unable to stop herself.

“You’re going to be great, Phoebe. I believe in you. I’ll email you an intro to the investor, okay?”

“But—can I call you to get your advice or to bounce ideas off of—”

Jonathan shook his head. His hair fell forward, obscuring the inscrutable look in his eyes.

“I can’t.” His voice broke on the last word, and there it was: a hint of how he was feeling behind the cold, wistful facade. He cleared his throat and said, his voice deeper and unwavering, “Bye, Phoebe.”

“But we came here together. Don’t you need—”

“I’ll get myself home.”

Without so much as a hug goodbye, Jonathan turned, wove his way through the other tables, and left.

Phoebe did not want to break down inside Colsie Coffee, but she couldn’t make herself move. She slumped over the table. He was gone. They had shared one magical night together, and for some reason, that had made him decide to say goodbye forever. Was it just because he had finally gotten what he’d always wanted? He wanted to sleep with Phoebe once, to check it off his bucket list? No; he wasn’t that kind of guy. He was sensitive, thoughtful, intuitive. So how had he misread her signs?

She had given him signs, hadn’t she? What kind of signs was she emitting?