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His fingers spasm on my hips. Not trying to guide me, just along for the ride. “Kestrel, by the gods, oh fuck.”

I didn’t know I craved seeing this man come entirely undone until I witness it. Until I cause it. I kiss the corner of his mouth, his jaw. “I’ve got you.” I keep murmuring nonsense as I slide the last few inches to fully sheathe him inside me.

He goes tense. “Don’t move.”

“What?”

Nero leans his head back and closes his eyes. “Just … give me a second.”

I don’t want to. I want to rock my hips and tip him over the edge despite himself. I’ve never been craved like this. It makes me feel powerful in a way that won’t last, but I don’t care. I cup his face and tug him forward so I can kiss him again. A light brushing of my lips to his, and then another. On the third, he whispers my name and my control shatters.

I steady myself on his shoulder and roll my hips. The tile bites into my knees, but the pain reassures me that this is real, that it’s not a lie. Life is rarely only one thing or the other, and I wouldn’t trust the good without the bad being there alongside it.

Nero stares down to where we’re joined, his jaw tight. “Kestrel—”

“I’ve got you.” I slide my free hand down my stomach to stroke my clitoris. “I’ve got both of us.”

He exhales shakily and cups my ass, keeping up the same rhythm even when I would falter as a second orgasm looms. This time, when I come, I drag him to the depths with me. I slump against his chest, utterly spent. Nero wraps shaking arms around me. Regret will take hold soon enough, but there’s no denying the utter relief of floating in this moment without any expectation. He strokes a hand down my spine, his touch gentle enough to send hairline cracks across my heart. “Kestrel.”

“Nero.” I smile against his chest. “This was probably a mistake.”

“Without a doubt.” But he doesn’t sound like he’s already considering the potential fallout. His voice is lazy with lingering pleasure. His touch pauses in the center of my back. “What happened here?”

I already know what he’s referring to: the scar that stretches horizontally across my spine. “One of my many run-ins with the Wands over the years. She had a club and I wasn’t fast enough. I still managed to escape.”

He kisses my temple. “I’m sorry.”

“My scars are nothing on yours.” I lean back just enough to touch the one that tears through his shoulder. It’s a jagged thing, not clean like the other silvery ones. “It looks like something tried to bite off your entire arm.” If he finds it odd that we’re having this conversation while he’s still inside me, he makes no move to put space between us. I don’t, either.

Nero shrugs. “When you live in a place without walls, sometimes the wild sneaks in.” The topic is clearly closed, but I make a mental note to circle back to it at a later date … if we both survive to become Cinque. As if the thought opens a gate, reality comes rushing back in. I’d lost all track of time while in Nero’s embrace, but sunset is …

Oh fuck.

The Sun already set. I didn’t even notice it happening, too busy coming all over Nero’s cock to think about the fact that I’m essentially baring my throat to the biggest predator among the champions.

I throw myself backward, determined to put as much distance between us as possible. The candles are too far away, the room too small. Oh fuck, I’m going to die.

I hit the water and go under, but only for a moment. It’s a moment too long. I’ve seen how quickly he can move when he wants to. All he has to do is hold me down and the water will steal into my lungs and end everything I’ve worked so hard to do.

But when I emerge, hands raised in defense, it’s to find him exactly where I left him. Worse in so many ways, he actually looks surprised and … hurt?

“If you move, I’ll kill you,” I gasp. It’s not a remotely convincing threat. What could I possibly do to him in my current state?

Sink him into shadow, a voice whispers in the back of my mind.

I reject it. I’m not doing that to anyone ever again. Not if I have any other choice. Which I may very well not have right now.

Why hasn’t he moved?

I back away until my back touches the cloth divider. “Please don’t make me do this.”

Nero leans forward and props his elbows on his thighs. He seems utterly unconcerned that he’s still naked, that I can still see evidence of everything we just did on his face and lap. “I promised I wouldn’t hurt you. I meant it.”

“The Trials ends tonight. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about taking advantage of our proximity.” When the hurt deepens in his expression, I snap, “The Sun set!”

“I know. It happened while you were coming on my tongue.” He speaks slowly, frankly, not preening about how he distracted me.

“No…” That’s impossible. But I can’t be sure, can I? I wasn’t paying attention, too intent on being present in my body and chasing the pleasure of this man’s touch. “I don’t understand,” I whisper.