Page 42

“You can’t.” Cillian moved closer, voice dropping. “Rook, you need to complete the bond. Tonight.”

“Ethan’s already said we barely know each other.” Maybe I could get out of the window, although because of the lockdown, that was covered in shadows too, and Rook recognized those ones as Thorn’s.

“Julian and I completed ours fairly quickly in comparison to typical human courting patterns.”

“Yes, but Julian’s different. He watched you eat someone and offered tips on getting rid of the body.” Rook paced the narrow space between counter and table. “Ethan yelled at me for scaring off a drunk idiot outside the theater - that’s not the same level of acceptance.”

“It’s not that different.” Cillian caught his arm, stopping him mid-stride. “You think I wasn’t terrified of hurting Julian? You think I didn’t second-guess every instinct screaming at me to mark him, claim him, and make absolutely certain nothing could take him away from me?”

Rook had been there for that. Watched Cillian circle Julian’s apartment building for days, struggling between ancient need and modern human concepts like “an appropriate courtship timeline.”

“Julian wasn’t iffy about people touching him because he’d had an abusive ex,” Rook said quietly. “Ethan flinches when people get too close. And now I’m supposed to pressure him into sex and bonding because my shadows can’t behave?”

“Your shadows are responding to threat.” Cillian’s grip tightened. “Pope marked Ethan specifically - that tracking sigil in his locker might as well have been a billboard advertisement. He’s definitely planning to grab Ethan at the first chance he gets, and your shadows know that. They’re attempting to protect him the only way they can, by bonding you two together so thoroughly that anyone trying to hurt him will have to go through you first.”

It wasn’t like Cillian to be the all-knowing wise one. Mating had definitely changed his perspective, and yes, Rook wanted that, too. His shadows had always been overly enthusiastic, and right now they were treating Ethan like a fortress under siege, desperate to fortify every vulnerability.

Sagging his shoulders, Rook sighed. “What if he says no?”

“He won’t.” Cillian released him and moved to the coffee maker. “He’s already agreed to stay here, he’s already told you how any separation makes him feel physically uncomfortable. Those are bond indicators, Rook. His body already knows what it wants even if his brain’s not caught up yet.”

“That doesn’t mean…”

“Follow your instincts.” Cillian poured two mugs and pressed one into Rook’s hands. “You might not be as old as me, but you’ve been around long enough. Our instincts are what keep us going, keep us hidden, and let us do what we do, so why don’t you trust yours on this?”

Rook stared into the coffee. His instincts were currently screaming to drag Ethan upstairs, strip him naked, and spend the next twelve hours ensuring every inch of skin carried Rook’s mark. Not exactly appropriate third-date behavior. Fuck, we haven’t even been on a first date, let alone a third. Rook didn’t think taking Ethan breakfast in his apartment counted.

“He needs to understand what he’s agreeing to,” Rook said finally. “He has to give full informed consent.”

“That’s fine, and I’m sure you can talk to him about that. For now, go down into the basement, let your shadows mangle some machinery or whatever will make them feel better, and then, when you’re calm enough, go inform him.” Cillian opened the door. “Before your shadows start remodeling the rest of our living area.”

/~/~/~/~/

Ethan was in the kitchen when Rook found him, assembling a sandwich with the focaccia Rook had made earlier. He glanced up, and Rook’s shadows immediately reached for him, twining around his wrists like they were starved for contact.

“Your bread is excellent,” Ethan said. “The olive oil ratio is perfect. Most people over-saturate.”

Rook leaned against the doorframe, watching his shadows curl possessively around Ethan’s forearms. “We need to talk.”

“I guessed that. About Pope?”

“About us.” Rook crossed to the counter, maintaining careful distance even as his shadows betrayed him by stretching across the space between them. “Specifically about completing our bond.”

Ethan set down the sandwich, giving Rook his full attention. “Define ‘completing.’”

I don’t even know how to put this into words. Rook should’ve probably put more thought into that instead of tearing an old machine apart in the basement, and then ducking out for a quick feed.

“Er… yes, so…the bond between beacon and guardian exists in stages,” Rook said slowly. “There’s the initial recognition that happened when my shadows first touched you, and they didn’t harm you...because of your light. And then, there was the conscious acceptance.

“Cillian took Julian out for a dinner date and…but…we can’t do that while we’re under lockdown, but I did come and see you at the theater, and you letting me know you were happy to stay here, and telling me, being very open about how you could feel a difference physically - in your body, I mean - when we were apart…then that works too.” Rook ended in a rush.

“So, your shadows accepted me and didn’t try to eat me,” Ethan said slowly. “And then I accepted our bond by saying I’d stay here… I assume there’s a part three to all this?”

He trailed off, and Rook nodded.

“Which is?” Ethan prodded.

How do you tell someone you and your shadow buddies want to have sex with them when you’ve never had sex before? Rook thought about Julian and his use of fancy words, and said, “Yes, full completion requires deliberate physical and metaphysical binding.”