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Jesus…

I think I might really be losing it. Reality blurs. Did it really happen the way I remember it or did I manufacture things in my mind? Am I really so dramatic that I dreamed up some insane story? I think I might be going crazy.

“I’m so sorry, Ryan,” I choke, a sob escaping my mouth. He immediately moves forward and pulls me into his lap, hugging me tightly.

“Oh, sweetheart. It’s okay. I forgive you.” Tears begin to fall down my face, drenching his shirt. “Shhh, it’s okay, baby. I love you. We’re going to be okay.”

I sob harder. I don’t deserve him.

* * * *

I’ve been off lately, since the big fight Ryan and I had. I’m so embarrassed that I blew the whole thing so out of proportion. And it has put me in a terrible mood since. Add in the fact that Ryan wanted to go out tonight and I had to work, and I’m especially surly.

Trey really is doing everything he can to try to cheer me up. Apparently, he has been working on his bartending skills. He is spinning bottles, throwing them through the air and behind his back as he makes drinks tonight. He’s got a crowd of adoring fans around the bar cheering for him. Moe is loving it. He says we’ve done more sales than ever before.

As I’m going back to the stockroom to grab more liquor, my phone rings. I dig it out of my pocket and see Daisy’s picture on the screen.

“Hey, chica, what are you up to?”

“Um… Em, I think you should sit down,” she says and I freeze.

“Why, Daisy? What’s wrong?”

“Okay, so I was downtown and I saw Ryan outside of this strip club and I followed him inside cause I was suspicious.”

“Yeah…and?” I have to admit that the strip club is bad enough. I hate the thought of Ryan watching some other girl grinding all over a pole. Suddenly feeling inadequate, I send up a silent prayer that he’s not doing anything else. It already hurts so much to think about him being there.

“Um…well…there’s no easy way to say this. His friends bought him a lap dance and he is making out with her,” she says softly, pity heavy in her voice. I gag around the bile rising in my throat.

“Send me a picture, Daisy.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, sweetie.”

“Please!” Silence greets me and she takes so long to answer that I have to check my phone to make sure the call is still connected.

“All right, I’m going to hang up now. You’ll get it in a second.”

“Thank you.”

She hangs up without another word. I clutch my phone in my hand, waiting for the photo that I know is going to shatter my heart into a million pieces.

Just as Trey walks into the room, my phone dings with a message and I ignore him as I open the picture. As soon as I see the slutty brunette straddling my fiancé’s lap with her lips plastered to his, I collapse onto a stack of boxes nearby.

An unintelligible grunt of pain escapes me seconds before tears start streaming down my face, and I clutch my phone to my chest. Trey rushes over to me, kneels in front of me, and lifts my chin so my eyes meet his. His lips are moving but I can’t hear what he is saying over my sobs and the ringing in my ears.

What did I do to deserve this? Why would Ryan do this to me? It’s not because I had to work tonight, is it? Trey tries to pry my phone out of my hand and I jerk away from him, holding my phone tighter.

“Emma! What is going on?” he asks, his voice finally breaking through the noise in my head.

“N-n-n-nothing,” I stutter and hiccup.

“Do you really think I’m going to believe that?” he demands. I need to leave here. I can’t stay here any longer. I need to go home and fall apart in peace and quiet.

“W-will you t-take m-me home?” I ask and he arches a brow as if to say, “Are you nuts?”

“No! Tell me what the hell is wrong with you.”

“I j-j-just want to g-go home.”