Page 45
Chapter Nine
Now
Sucking in a deep breath, I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror one last time before grabbing the stack of photos off the counter and turning toward the door. Nix glances up from his spot on the couch when I step into the living room and I hate to admit how much I love his almost constant presence here the past four weeks. And I especially hate the crazy little flip flop thing my heart does whenever he flashes me one of his smiles – like right now.
“There’s something I need to show you,” I say and my serious tone catches his attention. He sits up straighter, setting his phone down on the coffee table as he nods. God, I can’t believe I’m even considering this because there will be no hiding from the truth after he sees these pictures but it has to be done. Even though it’s been a month since Ryan showed up at the bar, I can feel the threat of another visit hanging over me like a dark cloud.
“Sure, babe,” Nix answers, the soothing sound of his voice enough to relax me. “What is it?”
I sit down next to him on the couch, wishing I was brave enough to inch closer as I hold the photos of my bruised body against my belly so he can’t see them before I’m ready to hand them over.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said a couple weeks ago… about Ryan just waiting for an opportunity to get at me and I realized you’re right. You guys have been busting your asses to protect me but there is only so much you can do and something could still happen to me so I need you to have these. Just in case.”
His gaze drops to the photos in my hand and he swallows, looking apprehensive. “Jesus, Em. Just in case, what?”
His eyes are full of fear and a fierce protectiveness that I’m used to seeing in my brothers’ gazes and it throws me a little. I’ve been flirting with the idea of “us” for a couple weeks and I knew there was something between us but I think I underestimated his feelings for me.
“Just in case he gets to me or…”
“Or what, Emma?” he growls, scooting closer to me on the couch like even speaking about the danger we both know is out there will bring it crashing down upon me. His muscles are impossibly tense as he gives me an expectant look and it hits me just how ready he is to defend me – a girl he barely knows.
“Or worse.”
He shakes his head vehemently. “No. That is not going to happen, do you hear me?”
“Nix,” I whisper, slowly reaching out and sliding my hand along the rough stubble on his cheek as my heart pounds in my chest. It’s the first time I’ve willingly shown him any kind of affection and I’m drowning in uncertainty. “I know you and my brothers will do whatever you can to protect me but the reality is that there is no foolproof plan. So, if something happens to me, you need to have these.”
“Fuck,” he mutters, glancing away from me but inching closer so our legs are touching. “I don’t want to think about this shit, sweetheart. It’s not going to matter because we’re going to keep you safe.”
“Please. I need you to have these. It’s important.”
He glances down at the photos in my hand and takes a deep breath. When he blows it out, his eyes flick up to mine and the look he gives me knocks the wind out of me. No one has ever looked at me like that.
Total devotion.
“Yeah, all right. Let’s see ‘em,” he finally agrees, his deep voice gruff with apprehension as he reaches over and grabs one of my hands, lacing his fingers with mine. I fight back a smile that’s totally inappropriate in the moment but something about this big tatted up man needing to hold my hand for strength makes my heart melt.
With my stomach turning, I hand him the photos and he kisses the back of my hand before releasing it to grab them and the moment he looks down at the first one, his body goes rigid next to me. He flips through them quickly, growing more agitated with each new image of my battered body before tossing them onto the couch next to him as though they disgust him.
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
He tips his head back on the couch and rubs his hands over his face like he’s trying to scrub the images from his mind and I can’t even say I blame him. I wish I could forget, too. Intense shame rises up inside me and I’m too terrified to talk to him or even look at him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was repulsed by me now and I know it will break my heart if he looks at me differently than he was just a moment ago.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, my voice filled with regret because I know I’ve just ruined everything between us.
“No!” he explodes, catching me completely off guard and I recoil from him, practically falling off the couch as my body reacts on instinct. Devastation and regret transform his face.
“Shit, baby.”
He scoots forward and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his body. My muscles are tense at first, screaming at me to run but after only a second, I relax into him and breathe in his masculine scent. I fight back a groan and pull away from him slightly to meet his gaze. He releases me and cups my face in his hand, looking deeply into my eyes, searching for something. “You never have anything to be sorry for. Especially this. It’s just hard to look at, okay? I’m so sorry I scared you. It was incredibly careless of me after what you just showed me.”
“It’s okay,” I tell him, glancing down and picking at a loose thread on the couch. “I wasn’t really scared of you. I just reacted.”
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, looking back over his shoulder at the photos still lying on the couch. I’m reminded, in this moment, how much is still between us. “What happened in those pictures, Emma? What did he do to you?”
I stare at the purple splotches decorating my body in the photo for a moment before shaking my head. “I want to tell you, Nix, but I’m just not ready yet.”
He strokes my cheek with his palm, drawing my eyes back up to his as he offers me a reassuring smile. “I understand. What do you want me to do with them?”
