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“Em?”
My head snaps up and I meet his eyes. “Huh?”
“Water’s ready.” He points to the shower behind him and I want to smack myself on the head. God, I really get lost in my own little world sometimes. “You okay?” He frowns, concern marring his handsome face.
“Yeah, I’m good.” I wave my hand through the air as if to brush off his worry. I step into the walk-in shower and he follows, shutting the door behind him. Arms wrap around my waist and he kisses my neck as the hot water beats down my front. It doesn’t take long for me to fall back into my thoughts from earlier. It’s like a tennis match in my head. I go back and forth, deciding something and then changing my mind a second later.
Nix tenses behind me. “Em, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
He spins me so fast that I don’t even have time to react. He tilts my face up to his and uses his thumb to pull my bottom lip out of my teeth.
“Talk to me, sweetheart. I can practically see steam shooting out of your ears.”
“I was just thinking about your request to move in together.”
His eyebrows shoot up and he looks down at me, waiting for me to continue. When I don’t, he says, “And?”
“I don’t want to screw this up with you.” My teeth sink back into my lip as I wait for whatever he’s going to say next. He scowls at me, searching my face for something.
“Baby, there is absolutely nothing you could do that would make you screw this up. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
He gives me a full smile that reaches his eyes and I can’t help my own grin from forming on my face.
“Why do you think you would mess this up?”
“I don’t know. What if it’s too soon? What if living together ruins what we have?” I can see him fighting back a chuckle and it pisses me off. He holds his hands up in front of him and I curse myself for giving away exactly what I’m thinking again.
“I’m sorry, Em, but we are already living together. Just not officially.”
“Yeah, but if we get in a fight, you could go home. What are you going to do if there is nowhere else to go? What if you need a break from all this Ryan shit?”
“Sweetheart, there isn’t much of a chance that I will leave you anywhere until that sick son of a bitch is behind bars or dead.”
I huff in annoyance and grit my teeth. “What if you get mad at me? Where are you gonna go if you can’t leave?”
“I’ll go to another room and take a chill pill. Why are you picking a fight with me right now, Em?”
As soon as he says it, I realize that is exactly what I’m doing. Why? Am I trying to test him right now? What the hell is wrong with me? Tears well up in my eyes and I drop my head.
“Shit, baby. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He panics and wraps me up in his strong arms.
“You didn’t make me cry!” I yell at him through the tears that are now pouring down my cheeks.
“Then why are you, Emma?”
My hands ball up into fists and I smack them against his chest.
“’Cause I’m awful and I feel bad. I don’t know what’s wrong with me right now.”
He shushes me and runs his hand over my wet hair as he holds me tightly against his body.
“Hey, it’s okay. Let’s just drop it for now. We don’t need to make a decision right this second. I’ll wait forever for you, baby.” More guilt fills me and I start sobbing. “Jesus, what did I say?”
“You shouldn’t have to wait around for me! You should just go find a nice normal girl who can give you everything you need.”
