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The thought hits me like a bolt of lightning just as one cracks across the sky outside her window. This is it. I’ve lost my mom. I keep praying that it will come to her – that she’ll look up one more time and suddenly know who I am.

“Why would I recognize you? Have we met before?”

I nod, tears spilling down my cheeks. “Yeah, we have.”

Her brows furrow, and she jumps out of the chair, coming over to me and wrapping me in a hug.

“Hey, you’re okay,” she whispers. “I’m sorry I don’t remember. What’s your name?”

“Addy,” I choke out, and she smiles, wiping tears off my face.

“That’s a gorgeous name.”

“Thank you.”

She looks back to her magazine and sighs. “I’m so sorry I was snapping at you. I’ve just got this huge test tomorrow. Where did you say we met again?”

“Oh, I didn’t,” I answer, amazed that I’ve been able to keep it together this long. I don’t know how to answer her question though. Maybe it’s just best to go along with her delusion. “We, uh, met in the library.”

“Gosh, I don’t remember that, at all. Maybe I should start studying a little less and sleeping more.”

I nod, trying to force a smile to my face as my lip wobbles. This can’t be happening. When her doctors told me that this was moving quickly, I never thought it would be this fast. I knew that I would lose her but I thought I had more time. I’m not ready.

“I’m really sorry to do this but I do need to get back to studying. We should hang out sometime, though,” she says, smiling brightly, and I nod.

“Yeah…um, I’ll swing by again another time.”

“Cool. Are you living in the dorm?”

I nod, not trusting my voice at the moment as the emotion wells up inside me again. It’s good that she’s kicking me out. I need to leave before I completely lose it. I can feel it coming – just like the storm outside.

“All right, well, I’ll see you around then.”

“Okay,” I whisper as she releases me, and I move toward the door. She doesn’t give me another glance as she goes back to her desk and begins flipping through the magazine again and writing. I flee, walking down the hallway as fast as I can without drawing attention, and by the time I reach the front desk, the tears are starting to roll down my cheeks.

Mari sees me and rushes out from behind the desk. “Oh, sweetie. What happened? She seemed good today.”

“She didn’t know me,” I say, forcing the words out in between frantic, choppy breaths, and her mouth opens into a perfect “O” as she pulls me into a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Addy.” I appreciate that she doesn’t try to tell me that I knew this was coming like the doctor did just a couple months ago because right now, it doesn’t matter that I knew. My mama looked into my eyes and had no idea who I was, and there’s no preparation for that.

“It’s just one day, sweetie. Tomorrow, you’ll come back and she might be completely normal. You just never know with these things.”

“I know, Mari. It’s just this is the first time she hasn’t known who I was, and I thought I would have more time before I had to deal with this.”

She nods, giving me a sympathetic look. “Listen, go home and crawl into bed or take a bath or whatever you need to do. Tomorrow is a new day, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” she says, giving me another hug before saying good-bye and releasing me. I walk out to my car as the numbness descends over me, and I feel lost. As soon as I climb in my car and shut the door, the heavens open up. The rain falls just as hard as my tears, and I have no idea where to go or what to do until one name pops into my head.

Loud sobs rack my body as I start the car and back out of my parking space, racing to get to the one person who will be able to hold me through this. I’m under no illusion that he’ll make this better because no one can, but I remember the night I started crying all over him. He held me and told me that he’ll always be here for me. I just hope that he’ll live up to that.

The rain is really coming down, and it’s hard to see where I’m going through the downpour. I flip my lights on and slow down a little, squinting to try and see out of my windshield but it’s not getting any better. I debate pulling over but I’m so anxious to get to the bar and see Trey. I can feel my heart breaking inside my chest, and he’s the only one that can help me.

When I pass through the intersection, everything begins moving in warp speed and slow motion all at the same time. The world around me spins, and metal crashes. I have no time to orient myself, and my last thought before everything fades to black is Trey and his smiling face.