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“I love you forever, my sweet girl,” she whispers, palming my cheek when I lean down to hug her, and she kisses my other cheek. I say good-bye and duck out into the hallway, taking a few seconds to get control over my emotions before I leave and wonder just how much more time I have left with her.

* * * *

My Love,

I still can’t believe you’re gone. It doesn’t feel real and yet, the only thing left of you is your scent on the sheets next to me. How am I supposed to do this without you? We were supposed to have so much more time, and now my future is completely wiped clean. And I can’t help but think that this is my fault. If I hadn’t sent you out for those milkshakes, you would still be here. I wouldn’t have this gaping hole in my chest where my heart used to be. The moment you took your last breath, my heart left with you, and I don’t know how I’m still walking around and breathing. I should be dead with you because I’ve lost my other half.

I think I’ve taken you for granted, my love, and now I can never undo that. I thought we would continue to watch our daughter grow, see her graduate, get married, and have babies of her own. I thought that we would have so many more years to fall in love again and again. But it’s all gone. You said once that my life was just beginning but with the loss of you, I know that my life is truly over. I will never recover from this.

Please come back to me, sweetheart. I don’t think I can go on without you. It hurts too much, and I’m certain that it’s going to kill me, too. I need you. I don’t think I told you that enough when you were still here. I need you, you are vital to my life, and your daughter needs you. How can she go through this life without her daddy? It’s not fair. She’s our sweet, beautiful girl and now she has to grow up way too fast. She has to live with the pain of losing you every day of her life, and it’s not right.

You’ve always been such a careful driver, especially at night. What happened? Why weren’t you paying more attention? Why? Just, why? I’ll never forgive myself for this. My selfishness is the reason that you were taken, and I can never move past it. I knew that if I asked, you would do anything for me and because of that, you’re gone. As much as I love you, I hate myself right now. I can’t do this, my love. I don’t know how to breathe without you. It feels so wrong.

And yet, I can’t regret a single day with you. Even though my pain feels as vast and as endless as the ocean, I would never undo a single moment with you. How is that possible? Why would I do it all again knowing that this would be the outcome? Knowing that I would be curled up on our bed, numb and yet in the most unimaginable pain I’ve ever felt. It would have been easier if you’d severed a limb. When I opened the door and those two police officers told me that you were dead, the pain was so bad that I wanted to claw my own heart out. But if I were given the opportunity to go back and live my life with you again, I would do it.

You’re my soul mate; my one true love, and not even death can sever that. Wait for me, my love. I’ll be with you again someday.

I love you today, tomorrow, and forever.

XOXO

Lizzy

The letter falls from my hand, landing on the bed next to me as loud, pain-filled sobs rack my body, and I feel dizzy as I struggle to breathe. Reading what she wrote to my dad after he died has me living through it all over again, through her eyes and my own. I know love like that, and I can’t imagine if I lost it. I gasp when the realization hits me that with Trey, I would wade through a thousand lifetimes – dealing with heartache, loss, and anything else as long as he was waiting for me at the end. It’s time to tell him everything.