Page 31
Me:
Okay
My heart jumps at the thought of seeing Trey again tomorrow, and I worry that I’m not going to be able to hold up this charade for much longer.
* * * *
“Thanks for a great night,” I say, and he nods, leaning in to kiss me but I twist my head just in time so his lips land on my cheek. When he pulls back, he’s still smiling.
“Anytime, gorgeous. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Forcing a smile, I just nod my head because I know I won’t be picking up that call.
“Good night,” he says, turning to leave, and I wave as he peeks over his shoulder at me. I stand here, watching him until he drives away and finally let out a heavy breath. I had every intention of making a quick exit after we finished eating but he insisted on following me home, and I’m sure he was hoping that I would invite him up.
Turning toward the stairs, I push down the sliver of guilt I feel because, truthfully, he was a nice guy, and I had a nice time with him. Maybe if I had met him three or four months ago, there could have been something there but tonight, I couldn’t keep my thoughts from straying to Trey every few minutes. Everything reminded me of him tonight, even down to poor Trent’s name, and I’m worried that things have already gone past the point of no return. Can we even salvage our friendship after all that’s happened?
As I let myself into my apartment, I look around, trying to decide what I want to do before making a beeline for my bed, only stopping to grab the box of letters out of my closet. I kick off my shoes and sink into the mattress, setting the box in front of me. With Daddy gone and Mama’s illness taking hold, some days these letters are all I have left of them, and I dread the day when I don’t even have glimpses of Mama anymore. Doing my best to push that thought from my mind, I reach into the box and pull a letter out.
Lizzy,
As I sit here on our daughter’s sixth birthday and look down at the beautiful, intelligent, amazing little lady that we’ve managed to raise, I’m in awe. As I predicted the day you told me you were pregnant with her, you’re an incredible mother and the reason that our daughter is who she is. I know this week has been hard for you, my love, but what the hell does that doctor know? Doctors are wrong all the time.
But… if he’s right and you can’t have any more babies, it’s going to be okay. I know it doesn’t feel that way right now, and I know that your heart is broken. When we sat in that diner all those years ago, you told me of your dream to have a big family and lots of babies running around everywhere. And I wanted to give you everything your heart desired, I still do. But if that never happens, if our sweet Addilyn is the only baby that was destined for us, that’s okay. No, it’s more than okay because she is perfect, and she fills our lives with more happiness than I could have imagined as a twenty-one-year-old kid sitting in a diner and falling in love with a beautiful girl.
Some day, she’s going to fall in love and get married to the man of her dreams. She’ll have babies of her own, and they will be the luckiest kids in the world to have you as their grandma. Your life is not over, my sweet wife. It’s only just beginning, and I’m so excited to be the man by your side through every stage of it. I love you today, tomorrow, and forever.
XOXO
I set the letter down on the bed in front of me and just cry – big, ugly tears for my mom and dad and for the future they dreamed about for me that will never happen. What’s the point? What’s the point of everything they had if it all ends like this? All their dreams for their future and mine are completely wasted. If people as wonderful as my parents, who loved each other fiercely with all their hearts, can’t find a happily ever after then what’s the point of even trying?
