Page 19

Chapter Seven

Addilyn

“I know that it’s hard, Miss Burke, but we’ve talked extensively about this. We all knew it was coming. Of course, we’ll do everything we can for her but you need to face reality.”

Tears sting my eyes, and I squeeze them shut, trying my best to keep the emotion at bay. I’m not ready for this. I can’t lose her yet. “Yes, I know. I just wasn’t expecting it to happen so fast. I thought I had more time.”

“I know, Addy. This is a complicated disease, and it’s progressing much more quickly than any of us expected but we’re doing everything we can for her.”

“I know you are.”

“Will we be seeing you this weekend? She’s been feeling pretty good lately.”

I nod even though she can’t see me. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Perfect. We’ll see you then.”

We say good-bye and I hang up the phone before tossing it onto the couch in front of me. I suck in choppy, uneven breaths as I ball my fists up and slam them into the back of the couch, trying to shove my emotions back down. This is happening too fast. It’s too soon, and I’m not ready but how the hell do I prepare myself for something like this? I wish there was a way. And I wish that she hadn’t made me promise to keep it a secret.

A tear falls and I angrily swipe it away as I make my way around the couch and sit down, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself. When this all started eighteen months ago, I thought I would have more time with her but things started to decline quickly, and it wasn’t long before I was completely out of my element. I had to seek out help but she made me promise that I wouldn’t tell a soul.

It’s too much. This burden has been slowly crushing me, and when you add on what her prognoses means for my own fate, I feel like I’m drowning. My finger twitches, desperate to pick up the phone, call Trey, and tell him everything. Maybe then he would understand why things between us can never be more than they already are.

My phone chimes, reminding me that I have a date in an hour. I groan, my head falling back as I close my eyes and consider canceling. After my night at the bar the other night, I came home in a panic and planned as many dates as I could from the dating site. In hindsight, it was a terrible idea but, at the time, I needed anything to distract me from the way I acted and the way Trey makes me feel when he looks at me. It’s too real, too powerful… too dangerous. I’d much rather fill my time with these silly, meaningless dates that I know aren’t really going to go anywhere. These are safe. Trey and my developing feelings for him could destroy everything.

After a quick pep talk, I shove myself off the couch and go to my room to get ready. I riffle through my closet for a couple of minutes until I decide to just do casual since we’re going to be in a dark theatre. When I step into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror, I’m glad that this guy suggested we go to the movies so I don’t really have to sit around and make small talk with him when my mind is in a million other places.

* * * *

Well, that was a total bust.

I was so distracted that I can’t even tell you what movie we saw. My date, Greg, seemed to enjoy it immensely though. From the little bit that we did talk, he seemed like a nice guy, and I feel guilty that I didn’t cancel on him. I was terrible company, and I know it. Sighing, I kick my shoes off and look around my apartment, trying to decide what I want to do. I don’t really feel like going to bed yet but if I don’t find something to do, I’ll end up thinking about things that I would rather avoid right now. On instinct, I start making my way to my closet, reaching up to the top shelf to pull down my box of letters.

As I carry them to the couch, I rub my hand across the lid, tears welling up in my eyes as I think about the phone call I got earlier. Pushing that thought aside again for the hundredth time tonight, I sit down on the couch and open the box, grabbing a letter, and pulling it out.

My gorgeous Lizzy,

It’s your birthday! I know you don’t want me making a fuss about it but, my love, today is definitely a day to be celebrated. Twenty-three years ago today, you came into this world, and there is no way I’m letting it pass without letting you know how incredibly lucky I am to have you in my life. And even better is that you gave me our sweet Addilyn. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wake up in the morning, look at your gorgeous face, and thank God for putting you in my path that day. Sometimes I imagine what my life would be like if I hadn’t gone out to play football that day and let me tell you, my dear, it’s a depressing image. I’ll never take you or our daughter for granted because the two of you light up my world.

Now, I always strive to be an excellent husband so I got up early this morning and tried to make you breakfast in bed but let me tell you, trying to cook with a two year old running circles around you is difficult as hell. So, I called your mom, and she rushed over to get Addilyn and I, once again, attempted to make you some breakfast. Except, I’ve been sitting here for an hour, watching you sleep, and I’m sure that your food is ice cold now. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t stand to wake you.

So, new plan! After you get done reading this, get ready and come find me. We’ll go get our angel and take you out for breakfast instead. I’ll be waiting. I love you today, tomorrow, and forever.

XOXO

* * * *

A knock at the door pulls my gaze away from the computer screen, and I debate ignoring it for a second before quickly saving my work and standing up. My head pounds, and I know I made the right decision as I swing the door open. Trey grins, holding up a pizza box, and my stomach growls on cue.

“Hungry?” he asks.

“Oh my God, yes. Get in here.” I grab his arm and pull him into my apartment as he laughs at me. “How do you always know when I’m starving?”

He’s like some kind of food fairy, just showing up at my apartment with food before I even realize that I’m hungry. He laughs again as he sets the pizza box down on the counter.

“When you don’t answer my texts, it’s usually because you’re caught up in work and that means you forget to do basic human things – like eat.”

I flip the box open and grab a piece of pizza, my mouth watering, before looking up at him. “What if you get it wrong and I don’t answer ‘cause I’m out or something?”