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But now I wondered if she was only proud of the witch magic overpowering my Wolven Mage blood. She was only pleased her experiment was working.
She had tried to snuff out my wolf’s existence. She had known there was another being living inside me, and she’d tried to kill her.
“Why didn’t she just let me die?” I wondered, my thoughts consumed with grief. “Let us die? Wouldn’t that have been easier?”
My wolf was silent for a moment. Then, her voice gentle, she said, “I think, in her own way, Elvira did love you. It was not a healthy sort of love. But she cared for you. You were the last piece she had left of her daughter. I think she believed that, in raising you, it was like she had her back.”
I didn’t want to hear any of this. I didn’t want to imagine Elvira with feelings or emotions. It was far easier to imagine her as a psychotic monster, with no regard for anyone else but herself.
But, of course, it wasn’t that simple.
Just like it wasn’t easy for me to dismiss the longing I felt for the life we had before. Before her death, before I knew any of this, before the truth changed everything.
It was better to know the truth. But a selfish part of me wished I could erase it all. I had loved my life with her in the cottage. Yes, I had wanted more. But I had felt loved and cared for. And things were so much easier.
“Easier, yes,” agreed my wolf. “But also wrong. You felt it, didn’t you?”
Yes, I had. Elvira had been keeping secrets from me. There was so much I wanted to know. And even though I loved our cottage, I wanted to see more of the realm. I wanted to do more.
But Elvira wouldn’t let me. She would have kept me barricaded from the world if she’d had her way. And that was no way to live.
“What is your name?” I asked. It felt wrong to have this intelligent being within me, such an integral part of who I was, without even knowing her name.
“Sasha,” she said.
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Sasha. And I’m sorry for all the pain you endured. Are you—are you well now?”
Her gaze shifted, and I noticed Tavik still snoozing on the sand. The tide was farther out, the churning waters now several paces away. “Yes,” Sasha said. “I finally have feeling in my legs. But… I do not feel well enough to walk just yet.”
I couldn’t ask for her to let me out—not knowing how much she’d been suffering. But, if she couldn’t walk…
“Yes, I will let you out soon,” she said.
I inwardly cringed. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have heard that thought.”
“Unfortunately, it’s difficult to hide your thoughts from me. It’s part of who we are. We share almost everything.”
Embarrassment flooded me, and if I’d been able to, I would have blushed. “Um. Really?” Unbidden, I thought of Alaric and me, our naked bodies intertwined, our loud cries echoing in the night.
“Don’t worry.” Amusement tinged Sasha’s voice. “There is a way to… more fully withdraw your consciousness. I grew accustomed to it over the years, when it became too painful to be around Elvira. I assure you, I gave you and Alaric plenty of privacy.”
“All right.” I felt deeply uncomfortable, and I wasn’t sure what to say.
Tavik stirred slightly, turning his head, but his eyes remained closed.
“He will be waking soon,” Sasha said. “Then I will shift.”
“And what about the rupture? How to we ensure it doesn’t happen?”
A pause. Then, she said, “We must try to work together. Be patient with one another. Any friction between us could be dangerous.”
I watched Tavik’s expression of sleepy contentment and the way his fur rose and fell with his heavy breaths. In my mind, I ran through every past interaction with the voice in my head—Sasha’s voice—with a new perspective.
“The first time I heard you,” I said thoughtfully, “you said, ‘Kill them. Kill them all.’ Why? What did you mean by that?”
At the time, I’d thought it was a manifestation of my rage from being attacked by those thugs in the village. But she had continued uttering those words even days later, and I didn’t understand why.
Sasha didn’t respond. For several moments, her mind was blank as she focused on the rolling waves behind Tavik.
