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‘I’m not going to push you again. Happy?’
‘Thank the Stars.’
Ah. Yes. The Stars. Let’s chat about those.
‘What in the ever-loving fuck is going on?’
‘I wanted to tell you.’
‘Really?’ Small hope.
‘Well… Not at first. And then not really after either… So, I suppose not, no. I thought maybe… Maybe I could convince you to leave your body to be with me and I could get away with not telling you at all and just getting you to the North Star without further explanation of this fuckery.’ Slightly less hopeful.
‘But you work for the Black Star – that’s what he said, that you were going to trade your freedom for mine?’
‘Fuck, this whole thing is such a fucking mess.’ Walker pinches the bridge of his nose. ‘I told myself no. I told myself not again. Don’t get involved. Don’t get attached.’ Here, he begins pacing. ‘Fuck, I thought maybe if you could hate me, maybe then I wouldn’t feel… You know what’s really fucked up? I can do whatever I need to do, I can step on anyone and anything to serve myself and my purpose. Except for when it comes to you.’
Aww.
No, Miller! We’re mad at him!
‘Were you or were you not going to trade my freedom for yours?’
Walker pauses his pacing. Every muscle in his body appears pulled taut.
‘I was.’ He swallows.
Right.
Okay.
I nod, beginning to feel numb, until he rushes me, crowds me and draws my face upwards to look at him. ‘No, I… I was sent for that reason, yes – and that was part of the deal – but I brokered a different agreement with the North Star, that if we could get you to them, they’d break my binds from the Black Star and let me into the North with you.’
‘You said we?’
Walker’s jaw tenses so I know to brace for another hit. ‘Lav.’
‘Not the goat, the chickens, Delilah, too?’ I ask facetious, who didn’t bloody know I was dead? Was I the last to know?
‘Delilah obviously knew – she’s half stone angel, half her kind literally ferry the dead – but that’s it. She’s only half. She’s not permitted to carry souls to their afterlife.’ If I had more time and less stress, I might feel bad for Delilah, but as it stands, I can’t feel anything but a dull sort of sadness that makes me feel tired.
‘What’s Lavender’s part in this?’
‘She’ll…’ Walker cringes. Runs a hand through his hair. ‘She’ll help with your body when the time comes.’
‘What about the dates and the war and everything rotten you did?’ There’s just so much to cover, so much I don’t understand. I have so many questions it feels like my head will pop off from the force of them caving me in.
‘We’ve never had a case like yours before. It was a bit trial and error for a while there. Lavender thought you just needed to be loved to let go. I thought a stronger emotion had a better chance of knocking you from your body. The dates… well, there’s been cases in the past with necrophilia creating succubus, so naturally—’
‘You could have taken extra precautions! What would have happened if me and the pool whistle had…’
‘Not sure, but I wasn’t entirely alarmed at the prospect of the world being less one idiot.’
‘I don’t understand why you couldn’t have just told me. Instead of letting me play the fool – again.’ Stars, when would it ever stop? When would I ever not be the—
‘We couldn’t! There’s a reason for the saying “Don’t wake the dead”. Every time we tried to test your capacity, you’d start…’ He throws his hands up.
‘Start what?’
