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Maybe I didn’t realize how entwined Dean has started to feel until he’s no longer here, no longer available whenever we want him.

“That’s the last one,” Finn says, coming into the room and closing the door behind him. He sets our donation box down and opens it up, starting to sort through all the cash. Thankfully, the credit union we use, Fairway Credit Union, is a major chain and can be found in most major cities. He’ll make a deposit for us tomorrow morning.

“Thank you, Finn,” I say, sitting down and letting out a deep sigh. “It feels like it’s been a really long fucking day.”

Mars comes inside the room, carrying a tray of food for each of us. I quickly grab a sandwich, happily munching on it.

“The crowd felt about as big as usual,” Finn says offhandedly.

“You feeling alright?” Mars asks, looking between me and Kassian.

“We’re fine,” Kassian says right away. “I think we just have to get used to working again. That month-long break made us soft.”

“I thought it made you hard,” Finn murmurs under his breath, making Mars snort.

Kassian sputters and I can’t do anything but silently blush. What the hell does he mean by that? Is he implying some sort of innuendo?

Gods, is this weird crush super obvious for everyone? Sure, I’ve always loved Kassian. Loving him is a part of me, just as much as my legs or my hands, but these feelings for Dean are brand new. I can barely wrap my head around them.

Would Dean even want that? Would Kassian? The idea of all three of us together lights a fire inside my belly. I want to hold Kassian’s hand and have Dean’s arm around my waist. I want to kiss them both. I want to watch them kiss each other.

I cover my face with my hands and groan, much to everyone’s amusement.

“Tomorrow will be easier,” Mars says, patting my shoulder. “We’ll be back into the swing of things before we all know it.”

“I’ve missed this,” Finn says, pushing all of the cash into a zip up bank bag, shoving it into his backpack before working at breaking down our donation box so he can fit that in his backpack as well. “This month has been so boring without being able to properly tease you two.”

“You’re a menace,” Kassian says with a laugh, shoving a bagel into his mouth. “I feel like you get off on this.”

“A little bit.” Finn shrugs, grinning over at us. Mars slides some food over to him and he gets with the program, eating some dinner.

“Did you guys do anything fun on your vacation?”

Finn and Mars share a look, one that I don’t understand. Finn smiles before answering, “as you know, we spent two weeks back home.”

“Oh right,” Kassian says, nodding his head. “That must have been nice.”

“Really nice,” Mars agrees, his voice soft. “I spent most of the time on the couch with an anime I’ve been meaning to watch. I don’t think I put pants on once during that time.”

Finn snorts with amusement. Why does it feel like there’s something I’m missing?

We finish up eating before packing up our things and heading out of the cafe, after thanking the cafe owner again. We’ll see him again tomorrow for round two.

The walk back to the hotel we’re staying at helps ease some of the tension in my body, helping me clear my head. Just because I miss Dean doesn’t mean I can completely lose my head. What would Captain Tag do in this situation? Well, he’s a bit of a wild card so he’d probably rush back to his love interest’s side, hold him against his chest, and tell him to run away with him.

Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be doing that.

Also, when the fuck did I start thinking of Dean as my love interest?

Unconsciously, my eyes drift to my side, watching Kassian’s profile. He’s talking to Finn who’s walking backwards in front of us. His hair is half up, half down, some of his waves cascading down his back. He’s wearing a little bit of makeup which only serves to highlight his beauty. Just looking at him could leave me feeling content for a lifetime, yet I always find myself aching for more.

When I look at him, I see my person. I see the one I plan to stick with for the rest of my life. Kassian is my partner.

I turn away, thinking about Dean. Why does he make my chest feel whole? Why does he fit with Kassian and me so well?

It’s all so confusing and yet, I feel like I’m so close to figuring it out. I’m on the cusp of understanding yet it’s frustratingly just barely out of reach.

“You okay?” Kassian asks softly, his hand reaching out and tapping my wrist. Feeling bold, I lace our pinkies together as we walk.